My niece Ryleigh just stopped by my van after school and said that I need to buy her a violin like Raven's and if I do she will give me hugs and if I don't I don't get hugs anymore. Little stinker.

 

Yes, all of my sister's kids go to school with our kids. All of the kids seem to love going to school together. None of them are in the same class, but we do have multiples in the same grade.

 

 

The first picture I took and the second one, my cousin took.

We came upon this accident on our way home from school today. How in the world does one get their car on top of a bridge barrier? Oh, I know, they were probably going to fast for the turn and was probably not paying attention.

When I went back to the school to pick Quynsie up from volleyball practice you could see skid marks during the turn. There is a light at this intersection so I am not sure what the driver was doing/thinking.

 

I seriously do not know what to do with Carson anymore. O.T. Isn't really helping and his therapist there has come out and told us that Carson is so complex that he can't figure him out and is not able to deal with the behavior issues that we are having.  Carson keeps telling me he hates me and today when asked why he hates me so bad he laughed and said I just hate you randomly.

After he had to sit in time out for awhile, he said that he hates me because I am mean when I tell him what to do and when I put him in timeout. I explained to him, that if he would just do what he is asked to do and not the opposite just to make us mad, then I wouldn't have to be mean by putting him in timeout.

His logical thinking just is not there. I can't figure out why he thinks it is ok to just walk up to someone and punch them for no reason and then says, "I wouldn't punch you if you would stop telling on me for punching you." Things like this just doesn't make sense and he should know that that is not ok thinking. He has been taught better than that.

For whatever reason, he has not respect for women and their authority. Joe can put him in timeout and Carson doesn't hate him.

We actually asked him if he hated his dad for putting him in timeout and he said no, but when we ask him about me, it is a straight yes.

 

I am sure Joe is just as frustrated as I am about how to teach Carson to respect women. He tries, really tries to teach him. He even tries to show him how to treat women, but for whatever reason, Carson just is not able to grasp this concept.

 

To be perfectly honest, I know that Carson does not mean it when he says that he hates me, he is just saying it out of anger. But after hearing it every day, multiple times a day, it starts to wear you down. I feel like I have failed somewhere in parenting.

 

Starting next week, I am going to be taking a 10 week class on Parenting a child with trauma. Yes, we have taken a class on this before, but this is through a different place and will have a new perspective and different ideas shared. I am looking forward to this class because I am in hopes that it will make a difference in the way I parent Carson.

 

I am not naïve enough to think that this is all about Carson. I know that I am playing a part in this mess just as much as he is, but I am not sure how to fix it and that is why I am taking the opportunity that the kids' therapist has offered me. It is an expensive class to take, but I am hopeful that it will help and be so worth it.

 

We are trying to break the cycle of the kids' past and if we don't find a way to get through to these kids then we are going to have troubled teens and adults on our hands.

 

We are not just having issues with Carson, we are having problems with Quynsie and Raven as well. They think they need to call home almost every day asking for advil.

Today I told Raven no and then I text her teacher letting her know my reasons for telling Raven no.

At dinner tonight we explained why we can't allow them to have advil or any type of pain killer every time they ask for one. We let them know that if we let them have it every time, eventually, that medication is no longer going to be strong enough and so they will move onto the next strongest pain killer and so on until they make it up to the street drugs. This is a conversation we would have had with our children even if they were not adopted, but because they are adopted and have a history in their birth family with drug use, it is even that more important to have these conversations. Since we do not know for sure if our kids were exposed to drugs at some point during pregnancy or after birth, we have to take this serious and treat it as if they have been exposed.

I have no problem with giving them Tylenol or advil if they really absolutely need it, but if I feel that they are abusing the privilege, then I have to make that decision.

 

We are getting closer to having half of the basement remodeled. We only have to paint and then put in carpet. We are hoping that it will be done and ready to go come Thursday for karate class. It is going to be nice for Joe to teach in his new dojo that was specifically designed for him and his passion.

I am planning on cutting in the edges tomorrow while the kids are at school so that when Joe gets home, he can just roll the paint on the walls and ceiling and then Wednesday, carpet can go down. EEEEKKKKKSSSS!!! So close to being finished.