I feel like this on a daily basis. But then again, sleep always wins. I get alone time during the day when the kids are in school, but it usually consists of cleaning up this or that, or running this errand or that errand, or this kid to this appointment or that appointment. I don't usually get time for just me except once a month when I play BUNCO!!!

 

We are going to implement this at the new house I think. Eventually, all of the kids will have their own rooms, but until we can build the 5th bedroom, Quynsie and Raven will share. This is a big change for Quynsie, she really has not shared a room with anyone since she has come into our home. Her sisters were so gracious in deciding to share a room again in order for Quynsie to have her own room. I will also be a change to have Nadia upstairs with us as well as Carson. Carson has always been upstairs with us at the current house, and that won't change at the new house. Like I have said before the layout of the new house is so much better.

 

I am the first to admit that I am not a very good listener. I try, but a lot of the time I fail and because of this the kids tend to tell their dad more things than they do me, but we are working on it and I think we are making progress, especially with the girls.

 

Yes this is another flaw I have in my life. I am a huge stresser. I stress about everything, and I do mean EVERYTHING!!! I worry that the kids have forgotten something for school, I stress that they did not get enough in their lunches, I stress that I am not worthy of being their mom, I stress about whether this move is going to help in our progress with the kids and their healing or if it is going to make them regress backwards.

 

Hahaha....mom the joke was on you. My mom used to say this to me all of the time while growing up.

 

I learn so much from our kids about the gospel. They are sponges and just soak up everything they learn. They help us to strive to be better. Better people and a better family.

 

I have no doubt that we made the right decision when we decided to become foster parents in order to build on our family. Yes, we were fully aware that there was a possibility that the kids could go back to their families because that is what DCFS strives for. We got lucky and the very first placement we got, we were privileged to adopt Raven, Nadia and Carson and bring them into our family fully and completely and be their forever family. Fast forward

1 1/2 years and our license was about to expire...we got a phone call about Quynsie (the other 3's older sister) being back in state custody and her birth dad had relinquished his rights and she was legally free for adoption. We of course took her in as well, how could we not? She is their biological sister after all. So we were lucky on our second and final placement as well.

I look at all 4 of our kids and I can not imagine life without them. I have forgotten what it was like not to be a mom. I am sure I have made plenty of parenting mistakes, but who doesn't? When I see the kids learn something new, the joy I feel in my heart is unexplainable. When I see them succeed in school, brings a smile to my heart. When I see small glimpses of them finally starting to have a healthy attachment to Joe and I, that melts my heart. When we hear them freely say I love you without a prompt from us, I am completely in love with these kids. Parenthood is hard, but I would not change it for anything. It is the greatest calling in life.

 Then there are moments like this that keep us laughing:

Today Nadia was explaining to Carson that I like to have in between my toes massaged and Carson says I'm not doing that because I don't want to get my hands dirty before dinner.

Quynsie went to Young Women's for the 2nd night this week. This time in our new ward. All of the girls and leaders seemed very nice and welcoming. Quynsie is excited because a girl she goes to school with is in our new ward. This is a new experience for her. The other kids have had kids in their class or age group that they go to school with in our current ward.