Last night Joe was late getting home from work to teach karate and Carson says with all of the confidence in the world. .. It's ok mom cause Nadia can teach it. I have seen her and she is pretty good at it.

What a sweet boy he can be.

 

Carson watching battlebots with his 2 dolls, 2 turtles and lightning McQueen.

 

Today we had a doctors appointment for Carson and Raven for their well child checks. While there, we discussed Raven hearing voices. This has been going on for about a year, but last night she finally told us that they were threatening her and making her do bad things. Our doctor wanted us to go up to Primary to the psychiatric unit to have her have an evaluation done, but our insurance does not cover psychiatric care at primary so we are stuck going some where else. I am not exactly excited about that because I just want the best of the best to help her.

Most people don't start hearing voices until they are between the ages of 16 to 21(if they even hear voices), but where our kids are dealing with trauma in their life, things tend to come out sooner than normal. They call it trauma based. We had been ignoring it for the past year because she had not really given us much information about it. She would just mention it here and there, but last night when she actually came out and told us what they were saying to her, we knew we could not ignore it anymore.

Joe's mom is schizophrenic so we are very mindful of the symptoms and what to watch for. I am not sure if she ever got the right kind of help when she was a kid, but I do know that she is getting it now.

When your daughter comes to you and says that they are hearing voices and they are threatening, you can't ignore it. You have to take it seriously until proven otherwise. Up to this point, we thought she was telling us things to get attention, but it has escalated to a different level and we don't think it is for attention anymore.

Just like Joe's mom, Raven hates the word "RESPONSIBILITY". Every time we tell either one of them to take responsibility for their actions and not blame others for their behavior, they both say, I hate that word. I want to obliterate it.

 

These poor kids have dealt with a lot in their short little lives. It just makes me sad. I hate not being able to help them take their fears away.

 

Joe and I have been going to this doctor for about 8 years now. They have seen us through our foster care and adoption stuff and today the nurse that was helping was a nurse that has also been there the entire time. She was like, I cannot believe how tall these kids are getting. I was like yeah your telling me. Raven is now 10 and Carson is almost 7. At the time we got them Carson was 3 and Raven was 6. It has been 3 1/2 years. Crazy!!!!

Going to this doctor we are used to him being called out to deliver a baby and today was no exception. Thankfully, I had made a stop and bought Carson a new dreamlite for bedtime and he brought it into the doctor office with him. Because we had to sit there for awhile, we were able to turn off the lights and he was the calmest little boy in the world. The nurses kept coming in to make sure we were ok because they are not used to our room being so quiet. I think we will take that thing with us every time we go to the doctor office. It worked wonders today.

 

In other news...

I think I new rear breaks on the van and Joe's truck is not starting. We think his is the starter. We know his truck is on its last leg, but what do you do when you don't want another car payment? You keep driving it into the ground. I think this weekend we are going to finally cave and possibly look for a car that gets good gas mileage so he can drive it to work and back and the truck will just sit here unless we need to haul things.

I hate being down to one car, but I think I might be able to survive tomorrow as long as Joe gets home at a decent time. He didn't get home until 8 tonight and he leaves at 6:30 in the morning. That is way to long for me to be without a car with 4 kids.

I hope I wake up without a headache tomorrow because Quynsie is begging me to color her hair and while I am at it, I might as well cut all of the kids' hair. Hair coloring and cutting is not my favorite thing in the world, but I did go to school for it so I am capable, I just would rather be doing taxes and using my other degree (accounting) than doing hair. I love doing cute things with my kids hair, but not the whole deal. At least it saves us money I guess.