You Know You're A Sensory Parent When......
1. Your child licks EVERYTHING.
2. You make five different things hoping your child eats something.
3. You have 10 pairs of socks to throw at your child each morning... hoping that one pair will "feel right."
4. Your child tells you to be quiet or turn off the radio or TV, but he speaks so loud you consider buying headphones for yourself.
5. You have an indoor swing and trampoline.
6. You suddenly develop sensory issues yourself... from spending a lot of time with your kid.
7. You cut EVERY tag out of EVERY product your children have, immediately!
8. You have to bring food with you everywhere you go because you know he won't/can't eat other foods.
9. You walk into a public restroom and pray to God nobody flushes in the stall next to you.
10. You read all of these and think, "Yup - that's us, too. Glad we're not the only ones!"
11. Your child's Christmas presents were all recommended by your OT and you knew he would be ecstatic to get them.
12. It takes two parents to hold your child down to cut their nearly ingrown toenails.
13. You cut your child's finger nails and toe nails while they are sleeping.
14. You hope there are NO hand dryers in a public bathroom after washing hands. Complete TRAUMA!
15. You no longer notice you're a living jungle gym being climbed on.
16. You actually question if pants are really that necessary for school. (Only for a moment of course)
17. You send your child to school wearing a Halloween costume because that is all that they will wear.
18. Your child's behaviour in the local pharmacy makes you want to smack (not your child) self-righteous old ladies standing in the queue ahead of you!
19. When you become a hermit because leaving the house results in major meltdowns!
20. You carry post-it notes in your purse to cover the "auto-sensor" flushing toilets.
21. When your kids cover their ears at everything loud but wanna ride the vacuum and scream over each other or talk loudly.
22. You child cover ears while "Happy Birthday" is sung.
23. You have to consider how soft stuffed animals/blankies/clothes are so that they are "softing" worthy.
24. You have to seriously do research on what toys are most durable because, if not, they will not last 72 hours without getting broken.
25. You avoid things that would be typically fun, such as birthday parties or events.
26. Your child lies upside down on the bleachers to watch a game.
27. Your child wants you to talk quietly, but he's always yelling.
28. You hope your 3 year old has started talking, has given up her sippy cup& is potty trained by the time she starts kindergarten.
29. You have to check every item of clothing for tags, loose threads and uneven seams. You need to make sure they're not too tight or too loose and have comfortable fabric, etc.
30. Your child strips down to undies or gets naked as soon as they walk through the door.
31. Your most frequently spoken sentence is "Get that out of your mouth."
32. You take family photos and later you notice your child is licking his sibling's high chair in one. Then you decide you like that one best – because it looks more real!
33. You get excited that you got your son to actually eat something good.
34. You stop going out to eat at restaurants.
35. You nod in agreement or can smile because as you are reading all these you know you aren't alone.
36. Your kiddo pushes into you hard, but sometimes if someone barely touches her she screams bloody murder.
37. You try explaining sensory issues only to get that blank stare.
38. You know in your heart the things you are doing may seem strange, but they work.
39. The judgment does not matter because you're just doing what is best for your child.
40. You realize eating out with the family means getting takeout.
41. Your bag/purse has more of their stuff in it than your own.
42. You find yourself crying in the bathroom so he doesn't see your hurt for him.
43. You know most of your furniture will not make it out of the house alive.
44. A haircut is a loud and long process that sometimes takes several people to complete.
45. You have to excuse yourself/your child for a sensory meltdown.
46. Parents around you gasp in quiet shock when they see what your child has done, such as finger painting the bathroom mirror with toothpaste.
47. You always have a chewy in your purse... and a back up.
48. Your child touches absolutely EVERYTHING he walks by.
49. You carry multiple shirts because you know the sleeves and neck will be soaked in no time.
50. You get relief out of fidget toys, too.
51. Every morning you wake up to the thought of "Oh no... I have to get them to put on clothes again."
52. You are the entertainment during a church service.
53. Your child sits upside down to watch TV.
54. In any noisy place, you have to go outside to calm them down and you may end up doing that a few hundred times before you decide to just leave.
55. You feel like you want to crawl in a hole because your child needs more sensory input than your own nervous system can handle!
56. You tell your child to stop licking you constantly.
57. Everything you do every day is 10x harder than with non-SPD kids.
58. Your child refuses to shower or bath without having to have shaving cream to put on the walls for them to play with.
59. You have a talk every morning about what the steps are for the day.
60. You cannot change routine or your child will have a terrible day or week.
61. You have to watch them every 5 minutes to make sure they are not up to any mischief.
62. You have to give your child a minimum of three choices for shirts to choose from.
63. Your child needs to be squeezed as much as you need them to squeeze you back.
64. You calmly walk through the grocery store while they scream at the top of their lungs, ignoring the stares.
65. You have to warn them when you are turning the blender on.
66. Your child refuses to wear socks.
67. It feels like you are against the world.
68. You let your child wear a dirty outfit because they won't wear anything else.
69. You have to do laundry daily for the only pair of pants or shorts your child will wear.
70. You buy every color and size of clothing your child agrees to wear.
71. Your kid has 6 pairs of the same pants because they "work" most mornings without meltdowns about the seams.
72. You are taking your child to the car and people actually think you are abducting them due to the colossal meltdown going on.
73. You get excited because you walk into the store and find the exact same sweats that your child wore every day last year.
74. Every outing makes you just look like a parent that doesn't know how to be a parent... but if they ONLY KNEW.
75. Your child greets visitors at your door with "Hello, can I smell your hair?"
76. Your child doesn't ever want dirty hands.
77. Your child covers his ears.
78. You have to lie atop your child to get him to calm down and go to sleep.
79. Your child barely ever sleeps.
80. You have to pack a sensory bag to go to the store.
81. Your child has more shirts that have been chewed through than not.
82. You have to explain how to make a ketchup sandwich the correct way so your two year old will eat it to a babysitter twice your age.
83. You instinctively put away the socks inside out.
84. You start noticing that other people's kids most likely have sensory problems, but you don't dare say anything.
. You struggle to get her to get in the shower because it's too noisy, but then she will stand there in the water for an hour.
86. At the end of the day you say "Another day down and I didn't end up in the nut house myself!"
87. You choose your family activities by the amount of noise, light and congestion that will be present.
88. You have to ask the birthday party attendees to whisper the birthday song to your child.
89. You have to throw away shirts because they look like moths got to them at the collars and sleeves.
90. All of your child's stuffed animals, shirts and blankets are chewed up.
91. You're wiping shaving cream off the ceiling.
92. Your child comes over to you and takes your hand... sniffs it and then licks it.
93. You panic when the supermarket no longer stocks something.
94. You... yourself... leave the house with two different shoes on because you are so frazzled by the time you leave the house.
95. As soon as music comes on you grab your kid's head to cover his ears.
96. Your kiddo wears noise reduction headphones everywhere he goes.
97. You turn your living room into a sensory gym.
98. The grandparents spend $148 on a weighted blanket so your child will sleep better at night.
99. You can't remember the last time you have eaten, used the restroom or stopped running.
100. You pass your child an ice cube and they tell you it's hot and then blow on it.
101. Your child is five years old and still mostly only eats baby food sweet potatoes.
102. You find yourself saying, "Don't lick the car!" repeatedly in every parking lot.
103. You find yourself often saying "Get back to the table and play with your food."
104. The thought of a farmer's market makes you hyperventilate because there is soooo much to touch and squeeze.
105. Your child uses all of the toilet paper to play with instead of her toys every day.
106. You feel crazy.
107. Your child is spinning in circles as you read this.
108. Your child says the same phrases and words over and over and over, everyday.
109. When you have had to stop reading this a few times and take breaks because your child is climbing on everything.
110. You think in terms like vestibular, proprioceptive, tactile, etc. and nobody knows what you're talking about.
111. You kinda dread holidays because excited quickly turns into screams, tears, hitting, kicking, and shouts of "I hate you!"
112. You spend 10 minutes every morning adjusting and readjusting his socks so they feel right in his shoes.
113. You are very excited to get a picture of your child standing in front of Santa telling him what he wants.
114. When your child sniffs a new roll of toilet paper and states it smells like carrots... then you take a sniff... and can totally understand what they are saying.
115. Your pets are hiding and you wish you had that luxury sometimes.
116. Your child is crying and screaming when you accidentally turn on the exhaust fan in the bathroom.
117. You have quick escape plan for every event you attend.
118. You can move and think like a ninja.
119. You buy cello tape constantly because your child wraps their ankles and legs together.
120. You spend a fortune on socks and jeans that will never be worn.
121. It is midday and you're still not allowed to open the curtains or turn off the lights.
122. Your child is rubbing the legs (calves) of women because he likes the way skin feels.
123. You learn to sit on your couch without cushions.
124. Your child needs to wear a hat 24/7.
125. You get excited when she lets you put a barrette on to keep her hair out of her syrup and she actually leaves it in long enough to finish breakfast.
126. You cannot eat in front of or near your child because just seeing you chew or hearing you crunch is cause to throw a fit and not eat.
127. You have gone through more rocking chairs, mp3 players and headphones than anyone you know.
128. Your purse weighs 5lbs because of the weighted lap blanket you carry everywhere.
129. You have to check the toilet paper each time he goes to the bathroom to see if they have eaten any.
130. Your child rolls themselves into a cocoon all the time.
131. The same outfit or pair of shoes that your child was wearing that was fine in the morning causes tantrums and stripping in the afternoon because it is "hurting" them.
132. You don't even notice your kid climbing all over you anymore! It's like totally normal.
133. Your normal is different than everyone else's normal around you.
134. Your child eats spicier foods than the adults.
135. You child doesn't like anything touching their skin.
136. Your child has more chew toys than the dog.
137. You are shaking your head yes and agreeing to all of these as you are reading them.
138. Poop on the walls doesn't faze you.
139. You feel every item of clothing you buy for him as you know certain textures.
140. Your child climbs onto the laps of strangers in restaurants so that he can hug them.
141. Ha ha ha... you just know!
142. You give your sixteen year old a bowl of ice to chew instead of another book.
143. Your child gets so involved in the iPad that she has accidents.
144. Your child doesn't like going to the movie theater.
145. You have to tell your child to stop washing his hands every five minutes.
146. Discovering seamless socks is like finding gold.
147. Your child likes to bounce off everything like a ping pong ball.
148. Shopping for clothes for your child is a nightmare.
149. Your child knows 500 excuses to not go to bed.
150. Your child prefers to sleep on the floor instead of a bed.
151. You carry silly putty as a staple in your purse.
152. It seems every photo of your little one has her covering her ears.
153. Bath time means war!
154. Your child sleeps with a heating pad.
155. Your child gets upset because you have to wash his clothes.
156. You have to make sure your child gets enough sensory input during the day.
157. You seek out Facebook groups for parents like us in order to reassure yourself that you're not alone or insane, then spend hours on that group's page attempting to understand as much as you can about your own child... from strangers.
158. You buy the same food every week when you go shopping just so you know your child will eat something.
159. You laugh uncontrollably at the person on the other end of the phone because they just asked if they can call back at better time when your child is settled.
160. You can easily tune out other children's obnoxious behavior because that's your child's normal behavior.
161. Your floor is always dirty because the vacuum cleaner is too loud.
162. You are mentally exhausted.
163. Your kiddo asks for something to eat at midnight and you gladly jump out of bed playing short order cook in the hopes that she actually will eat something.
164. A trampoline is a necessity because your couches are falling to pieces from the constant rocking and jumping.
165. You don't care what others think if your child goes to school some days without brushing her hair.
166. You find your son in his room with ground coffee all over the floor and he's rubbing it on himself.
167. You're up at 2:21 am reading this.
168. You can relate to this.
169. You feel you are always explaining yourself.
170. You are always making therapy appointments, driving to therapy appointments or looking for new therapies.
171. At a restaurant, your child is under the table because the food smells stinky.
172. You are reading this and laughing because you understand it all completely.
173. Your child meows like a cat or barks like a dog.
174. People ask "What are those noises your kid is making?" and sometimes you don't even know yourself. You just shrug it off and move on.
175. You can recite a movie by heart, because your child has watched it so many times & he wants to watch it again.
176. You never know what is going to happen next.
177. You don't know what type of school would fit your child.
178. You have to look for your child under beds and/or piles of blankets because he likes tiny spaces (perhaps the laundry hamper as well).
179. Your child just went out the door crying because she is so uncomfortable bundled up today.
180. You pull a bean bag out of your purse at work.
181. You have to give your child a slice of bread for dinner because that is all she will eat.
182. It's the wrong jelly Mom!
183. You go shoe shopping to many stores, finally find a pair that feels right, bring them home and then have to return them!
184. You allow your child to bounce on an exercise ball while watching TV and eating dinner.
185. You bought every Aqua sand, moon dough, flubber, slime and play-doh toy... and you hope they don't eat it.
186. When your child has eaten everything inedible.
187. You spend weeks, even months choosing the right toy, tool, etc. for your child... only to have her destroy it within days (if not hours)!
188. Your child is in the bath again for the tenth time today and yet the soap is still dry.
189. You have to explain why your child won't wear his coat in -3 degree weather.
190. People apologize for their kids (behavior, noise, manners) and you didn't even notice! - Pshhh that was nothing.
191. You're one of those parents who said "I'll never let my kid use electronics at the dinner table", and then you do to avoid meltdown city.
192. You have exhausted yourself by finding 101 helpful ways to sooth your child when it is time to do oral hygiene rituals.
193. You let your child take his shirt off in the theater because he is hot.
194. You are giving your child a bath and washing hair sounds like you're killing someone in your home.
195. You make multiple calls of excitement that your son let you floss a few teeth.
196. Your child needs to be sedated for a dental check up.
197. You answer the same question dozens of times because your child just can't move on.
198. Jeans to your child are the equivalent of a modern day torture device.
199. Your child's diet contains only one color of food.
200. You finally get one room in the house clean and by the time you get another one half done the first one is a wreck.
