I cannot stop laughing at this. I totally can see Joe saying this to our girls.

 

 

What a day it has been. I woke up this morning not feeling well, so after getting kids to school, I came home and went back to bed. I slept for about an hour and then got up and changed ours and Carson's bedding. I can only handle two beds a day because then I can't keep up on the rest of the laundry.

Anyway, Raven called me and said that her stomach hurt and I told her to eat lunch and see how she felt afterwards. She never called me again.

I went and picked the kids up from school and went straight to therapy. While talking to the therapist, my phone rang and I ignored it. When I was done talking to the therapist, I went outside and listened to my message, it was Raven's teacher telling me that Raven came up missing for about 25 minutes. She didn't leave me any more information other than she wanted to speak with me. (Really? We are only 2 days into the school year and I am already getting calls from the teacher) So I immediately text the therapist as she was with Raven and asked if we could deal with the situation right then and there. She said, yeah sure come on up to my office and we can talk about it. I asked Raven what the issue was and she told me that she went to the bathroom, but when that didn't work, she decided to come call me instead of going back to class and asking permission first. I asked her why she thought it was ok to not follow the rules because she has always had to ask the teacher if she could call me. She said, well my teacher did not tell us that we had to ask for permission. (Raven is a kid who needs everything spelled out for her)

 So then I went back outside and returned the call to the teacher. (I needed Ravens side before I dealt with the teacher) Anyway, I had to explain to the teacher that Raven is adopted and is dealing with serious trauma and we are dealing with these things in therapy. I also explained that Raven does not like being told what to do, especially if it is not what she wants to do or the way she wants to do it.

 During our conversation, it dawned on me that we forgot to give Raven her anxiety pill this morning and that was probably what happened. She got anxious and so her tummy started to hurt. I told her teacher next time she thinks Raven is not telling her the truth to ask if she got her medication that morning and that might eliminate some of the problem.

After talking to the teacher I went back inside and had a conversation with Raven (Carson was in therapy now) and asked her if she was feeling anxious and she said yes. I explained to her how important it is to communicate what is really wrong to her teacher so that her teacher can help her the right way.

I really should have made an appointment with her teacher before school started to explain things, but I really wanted to see if Raven could handle herself and I didn't want her to be labeled as the adopted traumatized child. I want my kids to be treated like they are normal growing up in a normal family in a normal way. I want them to be proud of being adopted and not feeling like they can't talk about it because they are afraid of how others will treat them. Raven only has 2 more years in elementary school and then she will be in junior high where I can't always fight her battles for her with her teachers. She needs to learn to be accountable for her own actions and how to communicate what is bothering her so that her teachers don't think she is just skipping school when in reality, she was just taking a minute to gather herself and calm down.

This new communication skill that she has been working on in therapy is really new to her. She has done so well at home with it, but I think because she doesn't know this new teacher all that well, she didn't know what to do.

Raven is the most polite child I have ever met. She is always saying, "yes ma'am or sir". She is always using her please and thank you. In fact everywhere we go, I am always told how polite she is.

To be honest, I wish my other kids would do the same. Nadia is the next one in line with the politeness.

 

Anyway, after therapy we were on our way home when Carson asked what was for dinner. Raven answered and said, taco's tonight and spaghetti tomorrow. Carson lost it. He busted his glasses and when I asked him to pass them up to the front of the van, Raven reached back to grab them because Carson was all the way in the back, he kicked her.

I was completely shocked that the word tacos triggered him that bad.

We got home I asked him why he did what he did. His response was Raven made me mad and that's why I broke my glasses and kicked her. And then he said later I didn't mean to break my glasses and kick her. So I tried to explain that he had just told me that he did it because she made him mad and that it wasn't an accident that he did it. He did it on purpose. Oh lord have mercy, the look in his eyes and the way he screamed at me, was like if he had a knife, he probably would have stabbed me with it. I had never seen that look before and it scared me to death.

Long story short, Joe came out and grabbed him out of the van and tried to talk to him to calm him down. I just sat there and cried. I wasn't sure what caused him to loose it like that and to be honest, I still am not sure.

 

Continuing on to the rest of the day:

 

One more word about school clothes or supplies I might scream. Children you go to a charter school where you wear a uniform. Everyone wears the same thing but yet my child is worried about what others think of her clothes. Really I thought the point of uniforms was to avoid this problem. Pants fit just fine but are a little long and she refuses to wear them because of that. Seriously she picked them out. I made sure she was apart of the decision making in picking clothes after the backpack incident. We even spent more money on her clothes because she was being so picky. But she is ok with wearing last year's uniform where the shirt is to small and her pants look like floods.

Do you see why I'm so confused?

TEENAGERS!!!

Why can't kids come with a manual? I never cared what others thought of my clothes. I still don't. I dress like me and if they don't like it, I don't care. I am ok with myself. I guess that is why I am so confused, because I didn't deal with that as a teenager. I wasn't into the girly girl things like clothes, fashion and makeup. I was perfectly fine with clothes from kmart or shopko. I didn't need to go to the mall or have name brand things. In fact, I even wore things from the DI.

 

Anyway, it was a heck of a day. In the end, the day ended peacefully. All is in bed and tomorrow is a new day.