Siblings that skate together stay together!

 

Nadia's, Raven's, Quynsie's, Carson's and Carson's old one that is too little for him now. All of the skateboards are the same size, they are just not leaning up against the wall evenly.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Day 14 post stitches removal. I think she still needs to be careful, but I am tired of reminding her, so I have just let her do whatever today. I don't know if we are ready for swimming and soaking it yet because there are still open wounds.

 

Nadia was probably thinking this earlier today when she decided to lie to me about something and when she got caught she through a huge tantrum, which made me freak out.

 

Your Heavenly Father loves you—each of you. That love never changes. It is not influenced by your appearance, by your possessions, or by the amount of money you... have in your bank account. It is not changed by your talents and abilities. It is simply there. It is there for you when you are sad or happy, discouraged or hopeful. God’s love is there for you whether or not you feel you deserve love. It is simply always there.

~President Thomas S. Monson~

(The president of our Church)

 

I hope that my kids always remember this quote from our Prophet. Heavenly Father is always there for them and will always love them.

 

This is the way I have felt dealing with our kids birth family today. Having an open adoption is harder than I ever imagined, but at times it can be so rewarding.

I am just having a hard time with a few people right now. I am sick and tired of them always making it all about them and their feelings. I never hear "Hey how are the kids, they must be struggling with their feelings or emotions". I had been trying to get in contact with a grandma and I never got responses from them for the past month and we needed some medical history in order to help Raven with some therapy and I finally got that info today after I got a random text from said grandma. I have seriously had it, if you don't want to stay in contact with us consistently or at least let us know how to get ahold of you if we need to, then its your loss. I don't have the time to sit here and hunt them down. I have 4 kids to raise and worry about. I can't sit here and worry about the adults in the situation and their feelings.

We have always been open and honest with the kids when we have contact (more so Quynsie than the younger ones because she is older and asks questions). I let them know when I have text and they will ask me for days afterward if I have heard from anyone. When I have to tell them no, it breaks their heart and they have started feeling like they aren't important enough for their grandparents to stay in contact consistently.

You want to have a relationship with the kids, well then stay in contact with Joe and I consistently so we can start to work towards allowing the kids to be involved, but until we feel it is safe, its not going to happen.

Yes, I can only imagine what it must feel like to have lost your grandkids and I am sure it is hard and disappointing, but to be honest, you are adults and can handle yourselves. These are kids that Joe and I are dealing with. I don't care about the adults feelings in this whole mess. All I care about is our kids and getting them best possible care I can in order for them to move on and to start building a life where they are honest contributing members of society.

It just feels like every time I bring any of this up to the grandma, all I hear about is that we are so depressed that we can't have contact with the kids and that it has been 3 years since we have seen them or talked to them, guess what? This isn't about you. This is about the kids.

We are not required by law to keep in contact with you. They are not legally your kids/grandkids anymore. That privilege was sailed long ago when the judge allowed us to adopt these 4 amazing kids.

So if you want contact with them, I suggest that you make more of an effort at staying in contact. I am not going to hunt you down.

In the end you will have no one else to blame but yourselves if you get no contact because you are the ones choosing not to stay connected to their parents.

 

To be totally honest, I am pretty much done trying to deal with a few of you. It is stressful and I am done seeing the kids hurt because you can't be adult enough to think of them.

I am constantly thinking about how the kids birth family is doing and it is wearing me down. I am so exhausted most of the time that after I get a few things done around the house and gets kids to this appointment and that appointment or school or whatever it is, I just want to take a nap and sleep the rest of the day. That is how bad it is wearing me down.

It is time for me to take a step back and leave it alone for awhile. I can't deal with it anymore.

 

Now as far as Ruby, Travis and Nina go, we are still good. Please don't think this is directed at you by any means. You guys have been great. Ruby has been there for us and all of the kids since the beginning. Travis we have started building a great relationship with him in the past year and Nina, it has been in the past couple of months when she reached out to us. Believe me, you reaching out, went a long way in my book. Ruby, thanks so much for always including all of the kids and not singling just Raven out. The kids have more respect towards you for that and they all truly do love you.

So THANK YOU, Ruby, Travis and Nina

 

I found these classics on my phone and since I needed to free up some space on my phone, I uploaded these so I could delete them off the phone.