If you know me you know my kitchen and bathroom counters are always cluttered. Not today I have been a deep cleaning machine in those 2 rooms. And Carson's room got a deep clean yesterday. I washed his bedding and he got in some serious trouble with his dad. So bad that he no longer has any toys. He has to earn them back. I have never seen Joe that mad at Carson before but to tell you the truth Carson needed to see it. We are not sure what is triggering him to be extremely disrespectful towards me and his sisters but he doesn't act like that with his dad. I'm not so sure therapy is helping either. Sometimes I think it makes it worse. I have seriously contemplated home schooling him again because when he got that strict one on one with me he wasn't this bad.

 

 

Between yesterday and today, I really needed this. My mom posted this on my facebook page.

Today I thought things were going well after school with the kids, until I got a message from my 19 year old niece. She said that Nadia hit her little brother at school today.

First, you have to understand that this brother is not my nephew. He belongs to my brother in law's ex wife. Anyway, he just so happened to be in Nadia's class and I had a feeling that we would have problems with this kid, so I told Nadia last week before school started to just be extremely nice to this kid because I did not want any problems. Nadia said, "Mom, I am never mean to anyone at school. Everybody is my friend." I told her, "Yes I know this, but you have to understand that this kid is your cousins half brother and I don't want any issues." She then again said, "Mom, there won't be any problems, I promise".

Fast forward to today: According to my niece (who we are finding out did not have the whole story) claims that her brother told the teacher and she separated them. I have talked to the teacher and she never separated them and she knew nothing about this incident.

I have also talked to Nadia, Nadia claims that she never played with this kid, nor did she see this kid at recess. She played with her best friend Olivia all day because today was their friend anniversary, the day they met, 2 years ago and they have been best friends ever since. I actually talked to this friends mom and had her ask Olivia questions while I was on the phone. Nadia and Olivia never heard the others responses. In fact, Nadia was in the house while I sat in my car talking to Olivia's mom. And Olivia had no knowledge that this was even happening until I talked to her mom. Both girls told me the exact same thing. There was two boys in class that got separated, but there was nothing to do with Nadia out on the playground or in the classroom. Both girls say no teacher ever came up to them to talk to them about anything.

Nadia is now in 3rd grade and not one time have I ever had a teacher or a parent accuse Nadia of ever being mean. They have always said that she is the sweetest thing and loves to help others and please others.

My niece also said that Nadia hits everyone and is a liar. I asked where she got that information from and her response was that Nadia used to lie to her all of the time. When asked what she lied about, she only told me loads of stuff. The thing is, my niece has never really been around my kids nor does she even really know them. She is 19, in the military and lives in Logan. She was only around them maybe the first 6 months of us having them. Not enough time to really get to know them.

 

Needless to say, I believe Nadia and her friend. We have had issues with this kids mother in the past as she is the mother of my nieces and nephews.

 

Poor Nadia has been a hot mess ever since I started questioning her. She has been in tears and wondering what the heck happened. She also said that she is worried that everyone is going to hate her now and that her teacher was going to be mad at her. She is afraid to even go to school tomorrow. I had to promise that I would walk her into class and we would sit down with her teacher and talk to her about it. I want her to hear Nadia's side out of Nadia's own mouth.

 

I am so angry that this mom could not be adult enough to come talk to me herself. My niece has my phone number, her mom could have gotten it that way. She also could have messaged me on facebook, she could have used my nieces facebook page and said, this is so and so and I wanted to talk to you about something that my son said that your daughter did to him today. Instead, she sends her daughter to confront me. Not only did my niece confront me, but she was so rude and disrespectful. She called me a bitch and told me f-off. I was completely flabbergasted. I didn't know what to do or how to handle the situation, so I called my sister (who is her step mom) and asked her how I should handle this. She said to call her husband and let him know what was going on. So I did. He even talked to her and told her that Nadia was not like that. She wouldn't hit another person. That is so out of character of who Nadia is.

Nadia is the type of kid who would sit down and cry before she would even think to hit anyone. She also hates when people are sad and tries to cheer them up. She hates that someone thinks ill of her. It is tearing her apart. I feel so bad, but I don't know what to do to fix it. I don't want to have a confrontation with this mom. She doesn't like me (for whatever reason I am not sure), but she has made it very clear through my nieces and nephews that she does not like me.

 

I have told Nadia to stay completely away from him, do not even talk to him. If he tries to talk to you, just say, (kids name), I don't want to play with you and I was told to stay away from you so there are no more problems.

 

I just hate this. This poor kid has never had an issue like this before and she is frazzled and doesn't know how to feel about it or how to deal with it. I will be walking her into school tomorrow at the very least. After that, I am not sure what to do about it. I am not going to sit back and allow this kid or his mom to bully my 8 year old.

 

Onto other news:

Today is karate night. Nadia's friend Olivia started karate tonight as well. But Joe's brother and his kids are involved in karate so they are here every Wednesday. We have dinner together and then Nikki, my sister in law and I have a good time together. Tonight was no exception. We had a great time. I wish I had the video's that she recorded so I could post them on here, but they are on her phone. Lets just say a good time was had. I would much rather have my kids learn things at home from me, rather than them learning them from others at school.

 

I know that I posted this yesterday, but we decided to have this conversation with our teenage daughters when Raven got involved. We started asking the girls if they knew what the terms meant. Sadly, Raven was the one that knew what a bonnet was. I would like to know where the heck she learned that from because this is the first time we have had this conversation with her about different terms for our body parts. Anyway, things got a bit wild and we died laughing seeing the looks on our girls faces. Raven was all serious and the others were completely grossed out and wanted nothing to do with the terminology. They were so embarrassed. To the point it was comical to us as their moms.

It got out of control with other conversations, but sometimes you have to make it a laughing joking manner so the kids don't think that it has to be a serious nasty thing. I want them to feel comfortable coming to us about such things as sex and asking questions. If we don't start this conversation while they are young, then they are just going to think it is the nastiest thing that was ever discovered.

I want my kids to know the correct terminology of our body parts. I also want them to know what others could call them so they are not caught off guard and either embarrassed or fall into a trap that they had no clue what it meant and taken advantage of. They need to be well educated especially because the girls are getting to that age where puberty is hitting. They are going to start dealing with outrageous hormones and different feelings and things. I don't want it to be such a secret. Right now, Nadia calls the boys part a penis but she will only call the vagina a chacha or a china. For whatever reason she does not want to say vagina. I am fine with that as long as she knows the correct terminology. She is still a bit young, so I am not concerned about her. But Raven is in 5th grade where they start to talk to the kids about the changes of life. I would rather her know what that is so that when the time comes that they have that talk in school, she isn't surprised and is prepared. 

We had a great time though. I am glad that I didn't have to have the conversation all by myself. I loved having the support of my sister in law while this was going on.

 

So here is to open communication with my girls.

Joe you are on your own when it comes to Carson. I have 3 girls to deal with so he is all yours when it comes to this stuff. So Good luck!!!