Cousins

This is my niece Ryleigh and Nadia at the arcade today.

We went to the arcade today for my nephews birthday that was earlier in the week.

I sadly did not take pictures, but Ryleigh did in the photo booth.

This morning our day started off with an accident outside of our house.

At about 7:30 we heard a crash so we ran to the window and got there in time to see the car drive off.

We went out thinking maybe it was our truck she hit, but quickly realized that it was the bishops van next door. The girl took off, but soon returned as she is a neighbor. She is 16 and a very new driver so she got scared and took off. She called her sister and her sister came out and let us know that she was on her way back and that she was a new driver.

Thankfully she was ok.

I am thankful that my kids were not out there playing at the time.

We actually live on a very quiet street. Yes some people drive a bit too fast on this road, but for the most part it is very quiet.

We ended our evening with a phone call from Quynsie's birth dad.

We are trying to plan our annual 1 visit a year.

For those few birth family members that we do have contact with, we have made it very clear that they are not allowed to single out one child. They have to treat them all the same.

Quynsie has contact with her birth dad and just recently her grandparents in California.

Raven has contact with her grandparents in Arizona and her half sisters.

Nadia and Carson have some contact with an Aunt.

It is very complex and we struggle to figure out the dynamics sometimes, but we do the best we can.

It is not easy having these extra relationships to navigate.

The only way we have been able to make it work so far is because the few mentioned people respect us as the kids parents and they all follow our rules. (Which are not many: Stay clean and healthy, respect Joe and I and the other kids, do not share the kids pictures or information with those we do not have contact with or on social media, and don't single individual kids out)

July 29, 2016

I had to put myself in time out.

It was one of those type of days where everyone is at each others throats and I needed to walk away for a few minutes and get myself put back together.

July 28, 2016

I was not able to get a picture of Carson and Raven by themselves with the glasses on, but I do have a group one of them together.

I am still getting used to seeing Nadia with glasses, but I think the ones she picked fit her personality. She is so sassy and the bright blue glasses fit that.

Cleaned Carson's room completely out except for his clothes in the closet and the bookshelf (it is screwed to the wall). He has been struggling with his behavior lately.

He is stealing here at home. He takes everyone's phones and hides them, he takes candy especially if it is not his. He has been taking off from home to do his own thing even though he stays in the neighborhood and always comes right back and he generally stays on our street where I can see him, but he still isn't asking for permission. The thing with stealing is, YES, it is only at home, but if he is stealing at home, what is he going to do the first chance he gets when he is in public?

We have already had one incident where he stole a sucker from the pharmacy once, so I know that it only takes a split second of me not having my complete and full attention on him. (I was paying for a prescription) If we don't get this under control at home, I fear things will get worse.

Anyway, we cleaned out his room while he was at grammy's house because he had completely trashed the room and would not help clean it up. He would actually take things out of their places and put them back on the floor so I had to send him to my moms in order to get this room cleaned in a timely manner. He now has to earn his toys back by making good choices and when he does get them back, he has to keep them cleaned up or they will be gone again.

So here is to Carson not stealing and leaving our yard without permission.

July 27, 2016

Happy 12th birthday to my nephew Aiden. You came into this world 12 years ago when our family really needed something to look forward to and hold us all together as a family. You are spunky, funny, so easy to love and You are growing up to be a great young man. I love you so much Aiden. Happy birthday buddy

Quynsie and I went out with friends last night and we did not get home until about 2:45 AM.

This is a mom and daughter duo. The mom and I are friends and the two daughters are friends.

We had a great time even though it was just to go to the airport to pick up the daughter/friend. She went to see her other friend in Texas.

We got our family pictures back and I am in love.

July 26, 2016

All of the kids got their first ever massage, except for Carson. This was his second one.

I took Carson to my brother in law when he was still in school.

I am in hopes that this will help them calm down and not be so stressed and uptight.

We are not sure what we were thinking today, but here in Utah, we celebrate pioneer day and because the 24th was a Sunday, some celebrate it Friday and some Monday.

Joe and I were supposed to go to therapy today and when he got there, they were closed so because I was already on my way, we decided to go to dinner, just the two of us.

So what started out as a frustration ended up being a nice date.

Unfortunately, I got a phone call on the way home from Quynsie asking us to get home ASAP because Carson was at his shenanigans again.

He has been stealing and "running away" (just down the street) and it seems to be getting worse.

Anyway, today while Quynsie was babysitting, he went into our room and stole money and then ran.

When I got home, he was down at the church at the end of our street running from his sisters.

I am not sure what we are going to do with this boy, but he is out of control lately.

Saturday, he punched me in the nose and called me a "Bitch".

His therapists are at a loss as what to do because they have tried everything they can think of and it works for a couple of days and then he finds a way around whatever punishment or restriction we put on him.

This morning, I went and got a massage from my brother in law and then took the kids with me to Walmart for Quynsie to buy herself expensive pens and pencils because I was only willing to buy the 97 cent pack of 20 pencils and those were not good enough for her.

These would be the 97 cent pencils that are not good enough for my 9th grader. LOL...Teenagers...

I am in hopes that this will solve the lost backpacks and lunch boxes problem this school year.

I am so tired of them being lost or stolen.

Most backpacks are dark inside and you can't write their names on them, so I decided on a whim to try this out.

We shall see how long this will last.

School starts August 15th this year.

Loving a child doesn't mean giving into all his whims; To love him is to bring out the best in him, to teach him to love what is difficult. ~Nadia Boulanger 

I had to share this quote because it has Nadia's name.

July 24, 2016

Happy Pioneer Day

July 22, 2016

Family Picture Day

I have never really thought Quynsie looked like her birth mom until today.

I have always thought she looked like her birth dad.

I have also never seen her get so upset at me making a comment about her birth mom.

I simply said, "you look like your birth mom in this picture, you are really cute".

She said, "Don't say that again, I don't want to look like her".

Me: "Well you never get mad when I say you look like your birth dad"

Quynsie: "Well, my birth dad didn't disrespect me either".

Me: "Ok, I am sorry, I didn't know that it would make you that upset"

It amazes me at how much these kids have changed in just a year. These two pictures where taken a year and 2 weeks apart. They all look so grown up.

We had the same girl do our pictures again this year. We loved her last year so we wanted to use her again this year. I can't wait until we get to see her magic.

I didn't get an individual of Carson and Raven because they wouldn't stick around long enough so we will have to wait until we get the pictures back from Taelor.

Nadia practicing Love One Another. She really is getting good. I love that all three girls play instruments and that they are starting to finally sound like music and not chaos. I also love when they learn songs together because then they can play them together.

Today was my turn for the eye doctor.

The kids all went earlier in the week.

Nadia was not able to escape the world of glasses again this year.

She now has to wear them.

It looks like Joe is the lone ranger in this house.

Tomorrow will be our last family picture of Nadia not wearing glasses.

It will also be a picture of Quynsie not wearing them as well because she lost hers a long time ago.

I am hoping that we can find Carson's because if not, then he won't be wearing them either.

We are excited to be doing pictures again with Taelor.

She did an amazing job last year and we wanted to use her again.

You have probably seen me in a store where I have a child screaming either in the cart or on the ground because the said screaming child did not get what he or she wanted.

Every time I take my kids to the store, I know that I am either going to have a screaming kid or one that is misbehaving all together by dancing and knocking things off of shelves. I know that this is going to happen, because I am parenting defiant children.

The defiance ranges from extreme to mild.

My girls are not as defiant in stores anymore as they have learned that that is not how they get what they want.

This is my daily life, in public and at home.

Yes, I feel embarrassed by kids tantrum in the middle of the store, but I continue taking them out in public because they need to learn how to act in public places.

I can't even say parenting a defiant child is the hardest thing I have done.

Parenting children with TRAUMA is the HARDEST thing I have done.

Things that my children tell me about their past, just makes me cringe. I get sick and angry to the core. I had one of these moments tonight when one of my kids shared with me something that happened when they were with their birth parents. I can't even imagine how much guilt this child has had to carry on their little shoulders.

There are times when I have thoughts of:

* Why am I the one that has to mop up life messes that someone else created?

* I am so glad that I am able to be the safe place for my kids.

* I am thankful they feel safe enough to share their feelings with us.

* Why are some people even allowed to have children before taking parenting classes?

* I am so thankful for the endless hours of parenting classes that we have been required to take in order to adopt our children.

* I am thankful for all of the information we gained in these classes.

*What were we thinking when we agreed to be foster parents?

* I am so thankful that we became foster parents and were able to adopt our children.

* Even though being a mother is hard work, I wouldn't trade it for the world.

* Sometimes, I think I take it for granted how easy it was to foster and adopt our first and second placements.

* I will never regret adopting my kids.

There are days when I wake up and think to myself, "Ok, I need to put on my strong armor today"

There are days when I have to literally force myself out of bed because the day before was rough and I wonder if things will be better today.

There are days when I wake up before my kids and I sit and listen to the silence and think, "was this really what it was like before kids?"

I also think to myself, "this is way to quiet and the kids need to get up and make chaos".

I have every emotion that goes through my mind every single day, but at the end of the day,

I WOULD NOT CHANGE A THING!!!

My kids are my world.

HIGH SCHOOL REGISTRATION

for Quynsie

Registration fee $140
Symphony band. $50
Drawing fee $10
Piano lab fee. $10
P.E. uniform. $15 (her old one was three years old and getting to small)...
Year book. $55 (she has to help pay for this one)
Child development $10

$290 is what it just cost us to register Quynsie for 9th grade. Just the basic registration fee was $140 that is $40 more than last year.

July 18, 2016

This is how we spent our evening....getting Nadia's foot checked. She was getting off the trampoline and she just felt a bad pain and it swelled up and bruised immediately, so I wanted to make sure it wasn't broken. She has a history of spraining her ankles so we wanted to make sure it was just a sprain and not a break.

It was just a sprain, thank goodness.

July 16, 2016

The Shed is coming along, and much faster than I was expecting.

Update on Nadia


Headed to the Spanish Fork Wake The Dead firework show with friends.


They are going with me I suppose...LOL


Oh and my boyfriend came along as well.
























I think it is safe to say that Nadia is feeling much better.

This firework show was put on by a guy in our ward. He did an amazing job. I even thought it was better than the stadium of fire. That is how good it was.
We also had a great time with our friends the McAllister's.
Their daughter is Quynsie's friend and they are in our ward.
It has taken me a good year to make any kind of friends in this ward, but I am happy to say that I am finally doing just that and it feels so good to be doing.