This boy does not like much of anything. We don't ever believe him when he says that he hates church because once he gets there he is fine and has a good time.

Last night while Joe was putting Carson to bed, Carson called his dad "homey dog". I laughed so hard and I am still laughing 24 hours later about it.

Please tell me It can't be so! Quynsie is going to be old enough to go to her first stake dance next Saturday! There is so much more that she is able to do now that she will be 14 on Tuesday. I'm not ready for this crap.

I don't have a picture of Raven because I didn't see her until we were on our way out the door. By the time I got other's ready and then myself, time was up.

Carson is everyone of these except the tip toe thing. He does not walk on his toes.

This was yesterday when Grammy and Papa Sly and Grandpa Davis brought Quynsie her birthday presents.



Happy 2 year anniversary Quynsie 

I can't believe it has been two years since we finalized Quynsie's adoption. We celebrated by going to Dennys. 

In just a couple of days this beauty will be 14. When did that happen? She was only 10 when we began this journey with her siblings. 

In true Davis fashion we will be celebrating Quynsie's birthday tonight with Joe's karate class even though she isn't in karate.

 

I am still laughing about this. One of my friends posted this. Apparently someone at her work left this note in the restroom.

 

The kids did not know what to do when they walked in the door from school yesterday. Their laundry was all folded and hung up. Normally, that is their job. I will wash dry and sort but they are responsible for folding and putting it away.

 

Yesterday was Quynsie's last Beehive activity at church. She will be advancing in the young women's program. I am not sure how I feel about it.

 

I am ready for SPRING!!!

 

We got this for Carson's bed at the request of his therapist. So far he loves it so much that he has already broke a string off because he won't stop messing with it.

 

 

 



Tuesday February 23, 2016

 

Month 2 begins. She said after the bands where put on that she looked like she had broccoli and corn on her teeth. I am really excited for the changes we are already seeing. Her back teeth are starting to touch especially on the one side.

 

It's a miracle, I did my hair up all nice. I have had long hair for so long, that I forgot how much I love my short hair. It is easier to do fun things with.

 

REASONS YOU SHOULD THINK TWICE BEFORE MESSING WITH SPECIAL NEEDS MOM: (I just had to share it)

1. Some of us have given up on s...ocial skills and don't care what we say or do.
2. We're not afraid to have a serious "meltdown" of our own.
3. We are tired and all the patience we have is for our kids.
4. We have a far shorter fuse for nonsense as a result of our responsibilities but A FAR thicker skin.
5. We can get you in a hold/lockdown position in less than 3.5 secs.
6.We can shoot you a look that would make a linebacker tremble in his boots.
7.Chances are it's been awhile since we've had a full night of sleep and that will give us a reason to plead insanity.
8. Our tolerance and patience is for our kids who didn't choose to have special needs, not for someone who CHOOSES to behave inappropriately and is ABLE to control their actions.
9. We're probably already on edge and it would be stupid to push us over.
10. We are sleep deprived and already defensive, and we spend all of our patience on our children, doctors, therapists, social workers and teachers, why would we waste an ounce of it on a total stranger?
11. We've had to fight from the moment of our child's birth so by the time you piss us off we're seasoned battlers and could win a war.
12.We devote our lives to our children and don't need more stress and people who don't understand our life.
13. Wherever there is a cub, there is a mama bear...We're always watching

 

It is exhausting every Tuesday dealing with 3 hours worth of travel and therapy time. Trying to entertain the 2 that don't see this therapist for 2 hours is a lot of work. Then you have the 30 minute drive to and then from that can get out of control.

 

Carson entertaining himself at therapy. Funny boy!


I love how this one turned out.

Just a little bit of advice:
Navigating relationships with our kids birth family has not been as easy as some might think. When you adopt through foster care all of a sudden we are the bad people and it's our fault. Come on people put your feelings aside and let's work together for the kids. My only hope is that my kids don't grow up hating all of us because we couldn't all come together for them.
Respect goes a long way people. Learn to use it. Sabotaging the relationship with the adoptive parents is not how you get what you want.


This was yesterday. Sad that the day before the kids were outside playing all day and then today we have snow again. We actually had about 12 inches of snow on our lawn at the beginning of last week and it is all magically gone. A few hours later after this storm, it was gone again.




This was Sunday evening. Joe was helping Quynsie build an engineering thing for school and of course it involved Carson's toys so he had to have a hand in it. I am not sure where Raven was during this, but she came around when we tried it out.

Wow... Our 9 year old has some serious signs of being a handful when and is a teenager. She already has an attitude. She didn't like we told her to go play outside and on her way out she slammed the door. She is so much like Quayside it scares me. Yikes we are in trouble


Spoiled rotten brats!!!! These kids pretty much have everything. I mean, what else could you want besides, phones, tablets, bikes, green machine bikes, clothes, trampoline video games, and all of the toys they could imagine.

 

Quynsie got a new phone for her birthday since she broke hers awhile back.

 

The story behind Raven getting a phone is that we were going to get her one for her birthday and while we were at the phone place getting me a new phone we decided that since we are paying for 5 phones but currently only have 3, we might as well get Raven's for her birthday early.

 

The story about Nadia, was that we are paying for 5 but only have 3 so we got her one as well.

 

This was Nadia's birthday present, but today was the first time she has gotten to ride it.

 

Raven also has a green machine that she got for Christmas, but dad was still putting it together when I took this picture. I'll have to get a picture of her on hers another day.

 

Quynsie had to babysit today so we were able to pile into the car and go do our running around.

 

We wanted kids for so long that now we completely splurge on these kids. We just can't help ourselves. They deserve everything and if we have the means, why not get it for them?!!

 

Love them so much!!!!



Rough day today for a couple of the kids.

Carson was a handful at school today. His teacher said that it has been the worst day so far for the school year.

I think part of it was talking about birth mom yesterday and then therapy was the other part.

For Raven it has everything to do with birth mom.

She wrote a letter to her last night and wanted me to send it to her.

This morning, I sent birth mom a message asking if it would be ok to take a picture of said letter and send it to her. Her response...

"right now is not a good time .. I have to much going on"

 

My response...

 

I guess I just don't understand. I don't mean to be harsh but When are you going stop thinking of just you and your feelings and think of the kids and their feelings? All they want is to be validated and know that you love them and put them first. I had to rock Carson to sleep last night reassuring him that you love him, but does he believe me? No!!!! Because you aren't putting forth the effort. Joe and I don't have to allow these kids to have any type of contact with you period but we put the kids first and have been trying to make an effort but your responses have made us rethink things. Don't you worry I will show raven your message and she is going to cry and ask why doesn't she love me? Why does she keep disappointing me? I'm done trying to connect with you for the kids. I'm not going to force them to talk about you I'm not going to reassure them anymore because I'm not sure if you really do care like I thought you did. I can't go on lying to these kids when I don't have a freaking clue how you feel except that now isn't a good time because apparently your too busy for them.

 

Raven's response to this was exactly what I thought it would be. She asked why can't she love me and why does she keep disappointing me?

I had to respond with, I don't know Raven, I don't have the answers because I can't get them. Now is the time for you to process this all in therapy and its time to accept that you may never get the answers you are looking for.

 

Once again our kids have been let down by their birth mom. It breaks my heart that after almost 4 years of not having contact with them, that she doesn't seem to want to have that contact, but at LEAST I TRIED!!! These kids are amazing kids. Despite what they have been through, they are strong and will get past this hurtle just like others in their past. We have gone so long without melt downs over birth parents that it was overwhelming to have 3 out of the 4 having a meltdown over it again. We have been so careful respecting Raven's wishes about not wanting to talk about it, but last night she came to us with a letter asking for us to send it to her.

Again, no matter how hard it was for us to allow our children get hurt once again, we had to allow that freedom for her to learn on her own that things have not changed and they may never change. These kids don't believe us when we say things about their birth parents (GOOD OR BAD), they want to hear it from them.

 

 

In other news, I got my hair cut and colored again today. I think, the fact that I am in my mid 30's now and have been a mom for 4 years, it has set in that I just don't have the time for long hair and the maintenance that it requires. All of the brushing I had to do during the day to keep it from being tangled was just crazy, so back to the stacked A line I went. I am not sure what I love about this hair cut, but I love it on me and I love it on Raven.

I have kicked into full mommy mode and got the mommy hair cut.

 

Before                                                                After

 

I only had some bleach put into my hair today. All of that red tint, that is my natural tint and so is the wavy hair. Normally, it is not that curly, but I had it in a messy bun and that made it even more curly than it normally is.

 

My sister cut my hair and colored it. She told me that her car was smoking and so I went out with her to look at it before I went home. I didn't want to leave her stranded. Anyway, I lifted the hood and looked at the antifreeze and it was completely empty. I asked her when the last time her husband checked it and she said that he filled it yesterday. I went and grabbed some bottled water out of my van and poured it in her's but it was leaking as fast as it was being poured in. I told her that I would follow her home and we ended up stopping half way there and put 3 more bottles of water in, just to get her home.

I have decided that my dad failed to teach her how to check the fluids in her car because she had no clue what I was talking about and that's why I went and looked at it. She just doesn't want to learn how I guess.

 

I also paid off some big bills that we had. Most of it was money we spent on the house and then I paid our regular bills that were due like our city bill and car payment. Lots of money went out of the bank account today. It really sucks when that happens, but it will be nice not having to make those payments anymore.

 

Anyway, like I said, it has been a very interesting day.



President Thomas S. Monson (president of our church) said:

 

Sometimes, my dear sisters, you feel inadequate and ineffective because you can't do all that you feel you should. Rather than continually dwelling on what still needs to be done, pause occasionally and reflect on all that you do and have done. It is most significant.

The good you have done, the kind words you have spoken, the love you have shown to others, can never be fully measured.

 

I needed this today. There are many days that I feel like I am inadequate, especially as a mother, but I know that those feelings are normal, and I also know that this statement is true. We need to focus on what still needs to be done and move on.

 

Today was Carson's first day back to Occupational Therapy and he has been pissed off at the world all day. Hopefully things will even out and his mood will change. He just hates that his therapist won't let him get what he wants. I wish I was just as strong as the therapist, but sometimes, it is easier to just give in and pick my battles.

 

The count down is on to TEXAS!!!!

We are so excited, we cant wait to go. This will be our family summer vacation this year.

We are going to see our amazing friends that moved away from us for work.

This has been a trip in the planning for a long time.

 

Wind, rain, Thunder, hail and now snow! !!! All of this just in the past hour. Yep we are in utah folks where the weather is bipolar.

 

 

Raven: why did you go outside
Me: to take some trash out. Is that ok?
Raven: No
Me: it's not ok that I the mother took some trash out to the garbage
Raven: No I mean Yes

 

 



This poor boy has a serious cough. So bad that on the way to take his sister's to school this morning, he thru up.

I am so excited for tomorrow...we are starting back up Occupational Therapy (O.T.). I am so hopeful now that we have a full diagnosis that we will be able to find the right treatment plan for him.

 

I got an email from Raven's teacher today that finally jump started me into getting Raven tested for ADHD. We have been talking about it for a few weeks now, but I hate putting my kids on medication and giving them a title.

Anyway, she is failing, MATH especially! She cannot sit still long enough for the teacher to explain anything to her. We have noticed this a lot more at home as well and in therapy her therapist is saying the same thing.

She also stole school lunch today and her teacher caught her.

Our kids have not had school lunch in 3 years. They always take home lunch. It is cheaper and much more healthy. I know exactly what they are eating and how much.

Anyway, Raven's reasoning was that she thought she would still be hungry after she ate her own lunch.

I know that we send enough for them because she comes home everyday with some of her food left in her lunch box. (So not a very good excuse that she gave)

Hopefully we have fixed that problem and we will never have another issue in the future.

 

Quynsie got up this morning still in a good mood and a bounce in her step.

 

The kids have been a handful this evening. They don't know how to use their inside voices for the life of them. After Sunday, we have had enough and they are now getting time outs for not using inside voices. It's not the normal kid yelling, it is high pitch screaming and I just can't take it anymore.

I have hearing loss in my right ear and high pitched noises sends sharp pains through my ear. Yes, the kids know this, but for the love of Heaven, they just won't stop.

Recently, I have noticed when Joe goes into is really low voice, it makes my ear drum vibrate and it actually really hurts.

Anyway, it has gotten so out of hand that we have had to come up with a way for them to realize that we are serious. It's not just at home they do it, they do it in the car, at therapy, at other peoples houses at school, just about everywhere.

We have had their hearing tested and they are all just fine, so that is not a reason for their loud voices.

 

Anyway so when Joe walked in the door at 7:15, I started singing:

 

"I'm so glad when daddy comes home, happy as can be. I clap my hands and shout hooray!!!"

Monday February 15, 2016

 

Raven asks me. ..
Are my back teeth supposed to touch when I chew?
Joe and I both laughing
Yes raven they are supposed to touch. That means our money is worth it. The braces are doing their job.

...

She isn't used to her teeth touching.

 

It came, it came!!! I am so excited that Carson's therapy weighted vest came today!

It weighs 2lbs, and a lot of people wouldn't think it works, but by George, it works wonders.

 

Tuesday February 16, 2016

 

Today's forecast is. ...My head is still cloudy with lots of pressure and about a 0% chance of a runny nose. Stupid sinus infection. Today is therapy day for the kiddos So I have to look somewhat presentable. Time to get myself moving.

 

Tonight after therapy, we made a stop at dad's work! It just happened that he was back at the shop when we were passing it after therapy so we made a quick visit.

 

Speaking of therapy....

 

Quynsie has made great progress in therapy today!!!!

I am so proud of her.

She has refused to talk about her feelings about her birth mom in therapy.

But TODAY....

She DID IT!!! She talked about her feelings.

I think allowing her to talk to her birth mom a few weeks ago, has made her think more about it and what she really wants out of that relationship.

She told her therapist that she has realized that her birth mom hasn't changed much if any. Quynsie said that she thinks her birth mom is selfish and can't think of anyone else's feelings but her own.

Her therapist told me that Quynsie said that she is glad that I let her talk to her birth mom because she had this fantasy and was putting her on a pedestal and thought the grass was greener on the other side, that is until she actually had a conversation with her.

I have been so worried that she hadn't fully processed what happened in that conversation and that she would be mad at the world for a long time, but in real honesty, she has worked through it.

I will be honest, I was really worried about letting her talk to her birth mom in the first place because I knew how it would turn out, but I had to allow her the freedom to learn for herself and get the answers she was looking for.

It is terrifying allowing your child contact with a birth parent after they have not had any contact for a few years. Or should I say, when we as the parents have not had contact with birth parents in 3 1/2 years. We have no clue what kind of mental state they are in and we have no clue if they are in a healthy place or not, but we had to take that leap of faith and with a lot of prayer that if this does not turn out well, that our child will be able to bounce back quickly from the heartache and hurt once again.

I am happy to report that our child has bounced back quickly.

Her therapist told me that we made the right decision in allowing that freedom because it helped her in her feelings of hurt and anger.

Sometimes, I don't feel like I am doing much right, but that comes with being insecure sometimes. It is normal for parents to feel that way from time to time and THIS, THIS I will take as a sign that we have DONE something right in the parenting arena!

 

I am going to bed with love and happiness in my heart. Knowing my daughter can work through hard things is very humbling. 



Happy Valentine's Day

 

 

 Carson was upset this morning that he has been grounded from his tablet for 3 days because of bad choices and he told his dad that his brain punches him in the head and gives him a headache and it won't let him make better choices.
Where in the heck does he come up with this crap?

 

 

Quynsie and I both went back to the doctor today and we both still have our sinus infection. He changed our antibiotic in hopes that it will work better.

 

Tonight we spent the evening getting kids valentines together. I got Quynsie a box for her friends, but she will not be returning to school until Tuesday. The doctor has recommended that she does not return until then.

 

 

 

 

 

Normally, I go all out and get things that are creative and make their valentines creative, but this year, I just have not felt very well and so I did not get much done in this area. Thankfully Walmart came to my aide and they had $3 mailboxes.

I am also thankful that the kids were just as thrilled with them as they were their personalized ones in the past.

 

Kids don't have school on Friday or Monday so they are celebrating at school tomorrow.

 

We also got the kids a surprise, but we are hiding them until Sunday on the real Valentie's day.



Not much has gone on the past couple days.

We are still fighting whatever nasty sickness has stricken this family.

Quynsie has been home the past two days and I am not letting her go again tomorrow either. I have been battling a sinus infection for 2 months and have went through one prescription. I have a follow up doctor appointment tomorrow and while I am there, I am going to have him look at Quynsie.

 

Raven and Nadia both are learning how to play I am a child of God. It sounds so good, I can't wait until they are able to play it together.

 

We spent some time at dinner looking at our calendar for the summer...Oh LORD!!! We are going to be busy.

•  We have karate Shiai sometime in May or June. 
• The first part of June Quynsie has trek and then a week and a half later she has girls camp.
• We have our annual family trip to Schofield (and please dear Lord, no injuries this year, or we will never go again).
• Sometime during the summer we have a vacation planned. We are hopping to go at the end of May or in June sometime.
• Orchestra and band camp for Raven and Quynsie
• Piano and violin lessons for Nadia and Raven
• Hopefully we will get to the rest of the basement remodel. (Bathroom and Quynsie's room)
• Yard work...oh heaven help us a lot of yard work
• I have plans of using our fire pit often this summer
• And then there are the many friends coming and going and kids going to their house.
• And many more things that we would love to do, but the list is getting way too long.

 

Carson just came in and said that one of his stuffed pets kicked him really hard. I am sure I have hurt their feelings again and they will find their way into a pile on the hallway floor. I told him his pets are not alive and it is not possible for them to kick him or hurt him in anyway.

This is my new favorite Sunday tradition. I am going to love hearing Nadia play primary songs on the piano.

 

My Denver Bronco's won the Super Bowl

Listening to Joe cheer on the Bronco's was something new. He never cheers on any sports teams. I think I like this new husband of mine!

 

Quynsie woke up with a fever again this morning. Tonight when we took her temp it was 101.2. I am so sick of this sickness. I am still having issues with my sinus' as well. I think it is another trip to the doctor tomorrow for the both of us.

 

Last night Carson knocked on our door and said his pets are out of order and he hasn't touched then and neither have his sisters and in his words "it's creeping me out"

I am telling you, don't mess with his pets. There have been some serious meltdowns concerning his pets.

 

 

 

 



We started the day off with taking Nadia back to the doctor. She has had a nasty cough for a couple of weeks and then last night she developed a snot/stuffy nose.

The verdict is she has a bronchial infection and they are putting her on an antibiotic.

After Joe got home from work we went to the Provo Temple Open House.

 



I am still so confused as to how to approach things in a healthy manner with our kids birth mom. To be honest, I really do like her and I wish we could be friends to some aspect (meaning for the kids sake).
I know that she is feeling bad about what she said to Quynsie and I want to validate those feelings. I am sure she does feel bad, she was not prepared for Quynsie to ask some pretty tough questions.
I also want to validate Quynsie and the rest of the kids, they are still hurting and angry. Nadia thinks that every time she gets mad or gets in trouble she can just go to the grocery store and pick a new mommy. I am sure those feelings come from losing one mom and trying to see how far she can push me to see if I will leave. (Yes, the kids still blame themselves in the situation. They think if they would have been better behaved, then my birth parents wouldn't have left us and so on).

I wish someone would give me a handbook on how to proceed with building a healthy relationship between us, the kids and their birth family because I feel like I am failing and we just begun the dialogue with birth mom.

I honestly don't know where she is at mental health wise and so it is hard to make decisions when she lives in a different state and we only text from time to time.

We have never asked the kids to stop loving their birth family, in fact we tell them all of the time that they should love them and that their birth parents love them very much.
And for whatever reason, they felt like they were being backed into a wall and didn't think they could get out of this dark hole so they let the kids go.

We will always have great love for them, after all they have given us 4 amazing gifts in this life. My kids mean everything to me and all I want for them is to be happy and be successful in life and make something for themselves.

 



Not much to blog about today except that I took Quynsie to the doctor and she has pharyngitis and a sinus infection starting.

Because she was home and the other kids were not around, I allowed her to contact her birth mom and lets be honest, it did not go well.

Quynsie feels that her birth mom is not taking her feelings into account and validating them, she feels that her birth mom is only thinking of herself and her feelings.

 

My take on this is that birth mom should have put her feelings aside and validated Quynsie's feelings. I am not sure that either one of them were ready to hear what the other had to say, but Quynsie has been pushing and pushing to be able to talk to her. She did not want to take no for an answer and I knew that she would go behind our backs and do it anyway, so I figured, I would rather do it with her and know that it was being done in a healthy way (or so I thought) than letting her do it on her own. I wanted to be there for her when and if she fell on the ground. It did not take long for that to happen into the conversation.

My heart is crushed watching Quynsie's heart being crushed.

 

If this was at all to do with my feelings, I certainly would not have allowed this to happen, but because I was worried about Quynsie and her feelings, I allowed it.

To be perfectly honest, I think it was a good thing because it gave Quynsie a reality check that she needs to work harder in therapy and that her birth mom is not ready to hear the truth of what this whole thing has done to the kids.

I am sure we blindsided her as well even though she knew that Quynsie was going to be talking to her. I just don't think she was prepared to answer the questions that she had.

Maybe another time.

Everything I do is for these babies of mine! I love them so much...

 

I was nominated to pick 4 pictures that make me happy to be a mom:

 

 

 

 

 



Monday February 1, 2016

 

 

 

 

I think I should have just declared today as a snow day! It took over 30 minutes to get the kids to school and we only live 5 minutes away. The roads were a mess. I will never understand why they don't have snow days in Utah!

I swear they want to put all of our lives at risk. There were at least 3 slide offs on the way to the school.

It took me another 30 minutes to get home after dropping them off.

 

After taking the kids to school, I went out and shoveled the snow and came back in and fell. I slipped on the tile in front of the front door. My back is killing me.

I went and crawled back into my hole where it was nice and warm and took a nap.

 

Nadia had piano after school, we came home for a few minutes and then off I went to take Raven to violin. Thank goodness I put chicken in the crock pot so that when I had time, I could add carrots, corn and noodles. I did add those things before taking Raven to violin so that it would be ready to go when I got home.

Chicken Noodle Soup!!!! YUMMMMM!!!

 

Right now Carson is playing Movie Star Planet on his tablet and he comes in and says, "This girl asked me to be her boyfriend and I didn't want to be mean, so I said yes" Joe and I both started laughing.

 

January 31, 2016

 

Quynsie asked me to trim her hair and I decided since raven wants to grow hers it if trim it so it looked even because it had grown or so much that it didn't look good anymore. Nadia needs a trim and Carson needs a hair cut as well but those will have to wait. I'm going to sit down abs watch grease with my girls