Even with all of my frustration in the past couple of weeks with Carson and not being able to come up with a plan that I was excited about, I think we have made progress.

I had a meeting with the school principals and behavioral specialist today. I am hoping we have gotten everything out on the table and we all better understand each other what the goals are for the future as far as Carson is concerned.

I wasn't trying to be disrespectful or say horrible things about the sch...ool or the staff, I was just frustrated because I was still seeing the same behaviors and I am sure Carson was just as frustrated as I was.

WE ACTUALLY REALLY LOVE THE SCHOOL AND THE STAFF. We feel that it has been a great school for the girls and they have all suceeded there, but we were feeling that maybe a classroom setting isn't what is best for Carson and now I am possitive that we have a plan in place that we are excited about and hopeful that it is going to work.

Thanks to everyone at the school for being patient with me and dealing with my craziness. The mama bear has just been coming out more and I think that is because I just want my kids to be happy and a contributing member of society.

 

This is last years Halloween costumes. Look how little they were! It is amazing how much they have changed in a year.

 

This is this years costumes.

 

 

 

While the girls are hanging out at grammy and papa's house for the night, we took Carson out to dinner and now we are about to watch a movie at home.

 

Tomorrow the plan is to clean up the house and get some laundry done and then Quynsie is going to go hang out with friends and we will take the littles out trick or treating tomorrow evening.

 

 

 

Raven and Nadia got their second rank in karate. They are now white belt 1stripe.

 

Nadia, Des (our niece), Raven, and Kaden (nephew) all got their white belt 1 stripe.

 

This little smarty pants got himself on YouTube. I was sitting on the couch and heard talking coming from the computer so I turned around and this is what I found.

 

I had a meeting with the school principals and behavioral specialist today. I am hoping we have gotten everything out on the table and we all better understand each other what the goals are for the future as far as Carson is concerned.

 



All I have to say is that today I am at the end of my rope with school and Carson. I am ready to homeschool him. The problem is that I have to find an open placement for him. I really like the online idea, but we shall see. I just know that I have lost all hope in the school system for him. We do not feel like a brick and mortar type school is the right thing for him right now. We feel like we need to focus on more one on one time with him. He seems to excel more when he has strict one on one time.

Today was not all that exciting. In fact it went from relaxing to being completely stressed out. Ugh!!!

 

Got kids ready for and to school.

I took the car to get the tires rotated.

Did some laundry.

Did some reading.

Picked kids up from school.

Took Nadia to a neighbors house so I could take the other kids to therapy.

Took kids to therapy.

Joe showed up and picked kids up.

He picked Nadia up.

I went to my class.

Came home.

Cleaned up some things.

Had family prayer.

Now bed.

 

Oh and I got my new boots today in the mail.

Don't worry, I was completely parked when I took this picture. In fact I was at the kids school waiting to pick them up when I took this picture. They are so comfortable and they are warm.



I'm slowly very slowly learning to love our new ward. It helps that the are a few people that we already new. One of which because of our prior interaction I'm able to trust her to watch Nadia every other Tuesday so Nadia can go to activity days.

The treasures I find in this boy's school pants brings a smile to my face. Usually it is rubber from the playground, occasionally it will be a rock, but today while doing laundry, I found a stick. I actually giggled out loud to myself. You know it is good if I am laughing out loud to myself in an empty house.

In other news, Quynsie's band teacher had a change of heart over the weekend and wrote a letter to the school director and decided to stay at ALA.
I think the kids got to him. They were crying all last week and then Friday they threw him a party. He really does love teaching the kids, he just wanted more support from the school.
Either way, I was relieved to hear that he was staying because Quynsie was really stressed out wondering what was going to happen.



A blast from the past! One our friends posted this on facebook today.

 

Today's church attire.

 

Unfortunately, Carson's brand new glasses are toast. He got mad at a cousin at family dinner and took them off and threw them on the ground and then someone stepped on them and broke the arm off and popped the lens out. Good thing they were only $10 through Zenni online.



 

 

Nadia loves pigs

 

Corn maze

 

The funny thing about pumpkin picking and decorating....we did it on the same day as last year. No we did not do that on purpose.

 

The kids' brother Jaiden with his two pumpkins that he did.



 

 

This boy was in such a good mood this morning. A big change from yesterday after school. I was trying to cut his hair after school yesterday and he was a little stinker, but as you can see, I got the job done. He was not happy that I would not cut it into a fow hawk. I am kind of sick of that hair cut. It is the same hair cut he has had since adoption day 12/12/12. It was time for a change and besides, he looks so grown up in this hair cut.

 

I made these cute little itty bitty pjs for our friends little boy. I am sure they are going to drown him, but at least he can grow into them.

This is so true!!!

 

I made this tonight for dinner and it was all gone. The kids loved it. Go me for trying a new recipe.

 

I was pretty productive today.

After I took kids to school, I came home, scrubbed the bathroom, cleaned up some of the kitchen, ran to Walmart to get dishwasher soap, folded some laundry, made lunch, went and picked kids up from school, came home and made dinner, figured out our insurance since it is open enrollment, printed out papers for an appointment that I need to get set up for Raven, took Nadia to piano and then it was karate and now bed.

 

It has been a while since I was that productive. I have been so focused on sewing that I let a few things go around here.

 

Tomorrow, I will be helping in Carson's class.

 



Sorry for not posting yesterday.

We had therapy from 4-7 and by the time I got home, I was so hungry and had a huge migraine that I just wanted to eat and go to bed.

 

Carson bit another kid yesterday at school. That was my last straw with the school and not getting the behavioral plan that I had been begging for all school year.

 

Last night Joe caught Carson licking Raven and so he

 asked Carson "I thought you said you were going to keep your mouth off of other people? " Carson said "no I said I wouldn't bite anymore. "

 

This morning I went straight into the school and talked to the assistant principal about the behavioral plan again. This time, I think he was sick of me coming in and talking about it because he pulled the behavioral specialist into the mix. We all met after school and I went prepared with an idea that I got from the class that I am taking on how to parent traumatized based children.

The behavioral specialist loved my idea, but we did tweak it a bit. It is still the same concept, but it gives him a daily reward at school. If he can get so many points in a day he gets 10 minutes of ipad time with the behavior specialist at the end of the school day. I am actually really excited for this new adventure. I have a great feeling about it.

I am actually so excited about it that I think I am going to implement it at home, but with different goals. I hope it works.

 

Today was Quynsie's last volleyball game. They won the first game and then lost the next 2 so the season is over.

I have actually enjoyed watching her play and seeing her excitement about the game. She loves volleyball. But lets be honest I have been spread so thin that I have been going crazy.

 

Here is a day in our life:

 

Monday:

School 8:50-3:15

Volleyball practice 4:30-6

Dinner 6:30

Raven violin lessons 7-7:30

Bed time routine starts at 8

 

Tuesday:

School

Therapy 4-7

Bedtime routine starts 8

 

Wednesday:

School

Volleyball games: 6-9

Bedtime

 

Thursday:

School

Nadia piano 6-6:30

Karate 7-8

Bedtime routine

 

Friday:

School

Volunteer in Carson's classroom

Volleyball practice

 

I also have to do other various things that get added to my day, like laundry, cleaning, homework, shopping, running back to therapy where jackets get left, phone calls trying to get appointments scheduled and of course the fight I was on to get Carson his behavioral plan.

So as you can imagine, I am looking forward to not having to worry about volleyball and such.

 

 

 

 

Great job Eagles!!! on a great and fun season.

I can't wait until next year. Hopefully we are not as busy and can handle it a bit better.

 

 



I really am trying to keep my faith.

I have been struggling a lot since we moved. We were in our last place for over 6 years and because of that, change is hard.

I have been trying to have faith that this move was the best thing we could do for our family.

I am trying to have faith that the hurdles that we are facing with the kids will somehow subside and get better sooner than later.

I am trying to have faith that therapy is working and helping.

I am trying to have faith that our kids will see and understand why we have rules and that they are there to protect them.

I am trying to have faith that my kids know and feel that we love them unconditionally.

 

In Church yesterday our Sunday school teacher said that you have to think no matter what ward you are in, it is the best ward ever.

I looked at Joe and said, "was that directed towards me?"

I honestly feel like it was directed towards me and probably something that God knew I needed to hear.

 

 

 

After what we have been through with these two, we have an award for perfect attendance. At least we got something right...hahahaha...lol

 

Carson seems to be doing better now that they are using a weighted vest on him in the afternoon time.

Raven on the other hand...well...she has two boys getting in fist fights over her. I am flattered that these boys like my daughter, but at the same time, I am like hello, you are only 10 and 11 years old. Boys and girls should be nasty still at this age. GEEEZ

 

Apparently I am more pretty with these shoes on according to Carson.

This boy just kills me with the funny things he says.

 

Well I am off to bed. I have to be up earlier than usual because I am going on a field trip with Raven tomorrow and we have to be in our best dress.



If things don't change around here, I'm going to go crazy and possibly stop going to church. I find that I don't have a very good christ like attitude on Sunday's because I have 2 kids that fight us on getting ready for church and I don't feel like I get much help getting everyone ready. Yes, I manage everyd school day but on Sunday's I would love to feel the spirit and not all the yelling and fighting.

Not to mention, Raven's behavior in Sacrament Meeting is outrageous. She said this morning while I was doing her hair that she thinks Church isn't all that bad, but then she had a serious attitude about being there.

 

 

While getting Carson ready for church this morning I grabbed his church shoes (now to small) and Carson says I can't wear those they aren't primary colors.

I actually ended up having to go buy him some new church shoes before church because his not primary color shoes didn't fit anymore. They are 2 sizes 2 small.

He also ended up with a pair of cow boy boots, just because he had to have them.

 

Even though I know it was probably hard for Quynsie's birth dad to hear Quynsie tell him that she needs a break from worrying about him and she needs to focus on herself for awhile he was really supportive and understanding. Thankfully we still have a relationship where he can still text and get updates and what not.

 

Not much else happened except going to my sister's for dinner.

 

Sorry no pictures

Our day started off going to a yard sale and on our way home, we got a phone call from the Bishop asking why were not at the Church helping to clean.

We were like, because we did not know we were supposed to. So I told him we would be there shortly.

Off to the Church we went to clean.

 

We then came home and had lunch. While Joe was making lunch I talked with Quynsie's birth dad. I wanted to know what was going on and why he had been breaking promises to Quynsie. I am not going to go into the reasons why because they are his personal business. After talking to him, we went out and started to clean the garage.

While cleaning the garage we pulled Quynsie aside and told her what he had said, she said, "I don't want to hear it from you, I want to hear it from him."

So we called him and let him tell her. She also made the decision that she doesn't want to worry about him right now, she wants to focus on herself and school, but she still wanted him to stay in contact with us so that when she wants to contact him, then she can.

Quynsie feels bad that she might have hurt his feelings, but we keep telling her that he is a big boy and he can take care of himself.

I talked to him afterwards and he made it very clear that he wants her to focus on herself and school and not to worry about him.

I told him that he needs to make a bigger effort in showing her that he wants to be in her life. He needs to stay in contact with us more often and consistently and build that trust that way.

He also expressed that he doesn't want her to feel like he gave her up. He wants her to know that he did not give her up, he gave her a better chance at life with a mom and a dad her siblings.

I just want him to know that we will always be here for him as long as he keeps his promises and doesn't lie to us. We are here to support him and the relationship between him and Quynsie.

 

Still not how I would like it, but at least we can get to everything without climbing over everything.

 

The kids don't know about these being their Christmas pj's. They think they are going other kids that need clothes. I still need to make Quynise's, mine and Joe's.

Today consisted of shopping for Quynsie's Halloween costume and the remaining things I needed for the other kids costumes. Then we came home cleaned, sewed and had Quynsie's best friend Alina over. I love Alina. She is so good to all of the kids. She includes them in everything.

 

All except the red shirt is Quynsie's costume. All of it was found at the DI including the boots. She wanted the red leather jacket, but we couldn't find one and when I pulled this jacket off the rack, she was in love with it. I even picked out the dress. For her always telling me that I suck at picking her clothes, I sure didn't do a bad job today. She is even excited to wear them other places. The dress she can wear for band concerts, the boots are for anytime, and the jacket she can wear to school because it still fits school dress code.

 

Quynsie and Alina were talking about cute boys and Carson looks at Alina and says you think I'm cute don't you? Alina in her perfect Russian accent say's yes, you are adorable.

 

Doing what kids do with friends. We have never been able to allow our kids to play in the road until we moved here. Sorry it is blurry but they were on the run.

 

Sometimes, I wonder if we made the right decision by moving and so when I see the kids have a great time outside either outback or playing in the street, I am reminded as to why we moved in the first place. We wanted to give them a real childhood of being able to play outside in a safer neighborhood.

Our kids have played with friends more since we have moved than they did the entire time we lived at the other house because I feel safe allowing them to walk down the street to a friends house and back. We are in a unique situation where our kids don't really go to school with anyone in our neighborhood/ward because we take our kids to a charter school, so they have school friends that come from all over Utah county and they have neighborhood/ward friends.

Even if our kids went to public school we live right between two junior highs and we could go to either school so half our neighborhood goes to one and the other half goes to the other. Same with the high school. So really, it doesn't matter if they went to school with the neighborhood kids.

I am thankful that my kids have good friends that are good influences on them.



Got the apron finished for Raven's costume. I love the back. It is cute.

 

Today was a laid back quiet day. Today started Fall Break and all I did was sew and take Nadia to piano lessons and then it was karate night.

 

Tomorrow we will be going to the DI to see if we can find a red leather jacket for Quynsie for Halloween. She doesn't want to go trick or treating with her family, she wants to go with a friend and I am ok with that.

 

This here my friends is the look of a winning team. GO EAGLES!!! 5 weeks of games and we finally won a game.

It was so cool to see the cheering that was going on, not only from the parents, but the volleyball team. We all got fired up. It was hilarious watching the elementary principal cheering them on. He is hilarious all of the time.

 

Yep! That is my son in the garbage can! They were playing hide and seek with friends while at the game. We just so happened to look across the court and saw him climbing out of it.

The girls hiding under us on the floor.



My version of the Egyptian costume. Lame I am sure, but hey I at least tried. I have made the decision to make my kids costumes out of clothes that they can wear after Halloween this year. I hate Halloween, but this has made it much more fun and enjoyable.

 

Please keep one of Raven's friends in your prayers tonight. She was hit by a car last night. She has some broken bones, but at least she is alive.

I heard about the accident last night, but I did not know that it was one of Raven's friends from school, until this afternoon or else I would have prepared her before school.

She was pretty shaken up by the whole thing.

I was thankful that she had therapy today after school.

 

Dang, I am not sure what to think about therapy with the kids today. I came away feeling confused. Part of me feels validated in my reasonings/decision making, but yet, I feel like the worst parent ever for wanting to protect my kids from their past.

 

Basically, the therapist said she would have made the same decision we made and then tried explaining to Quynsie why we made the decision we have made. Basically, it comes down to we ran into one of her birth dads past friends and she wants contact with said friend. Right now, our decision is no because we don't know this person, but that does not mean that we can't work into something. I want to make sure this person is going to be a positive influence in our kids lives before jumping in with both feet.



Raven's costume is complete. Or so I thought. My sister suggested that I add an apron. We shall see how much time I have after finishing all of the other kids costumes. She is a little girl from the civil war.

 

Boy oh boy did I make some mistakes right out of high school, but you know what, it is what has made me who I am today. I am not that girl that was searching for myself and who I wanted to be. I moved out at 18 and moved to Oregon for 6 months with a guy that I had dated off and on through Jr. high and High school. I realized 6 months in that that is not the life I wanted. I loved Oregon and I even miss it, but I don't miss the abusive relationship I was in. I had never seen that side of him until we lived together and it was a side I was not willing to put up with.

Fast forward to my life now. I am married to an amazing guy who is the best daddy and husband a women could ask for. I have the life that I was searching for. We own a nice home, nice vehicles (sort of), and we are able to provide for our kids.

I am not the perfect wife or mother either. I make mistakes, but I am trying. I am learning. I have moved on from my past and I am who I am.



We spent our morning sorting and folding laundry and Quynsie decided to put her volleyball shorts on her head. Why she made this face, I have no idea. She should know by now that if she see's my camera come out that I am going to take a picture and post it. She could at least make it look cute while putting her shorts on her head. Or maybe she doesn't care. I don't know.

 

I spent the afternoon cutting out the pattern for Raven's costume. Tomorrow, I will start sewing and putting it together. I am excited to see how it turns out.



Sometimes I think I am nuts! I normally buy the kids halloween costumes, but because we have an abundance of dress ups now, I decided to try and make their costumes out of clothes that they can wear after halloween. I found a civil war dress and pantaloons pattern that looks really simple that I can make for Raven. For Nadia, I bought a leopard shirt and leggins and then we will put her hair in pig-tails and a headband. She has some furry type boots that she can wear. For Carson, I just need a white shirt and white sweats or something to that affect and then I need to come up with a headdress of sorts and make his waist belt for Acient Egypt.

By the way I HATE halloween! So this is totally not me, except that I have my crafty going on.

 

He has been sitting here for 20 minutes waiting anxiously for daddy to get home. Daddy promised him if he was good while he was at karate then when he got home he would let Carson watch some movie.

 

Our neighbor gave these piano books to Nadia. Nadia is so excited about them.

 

 

This is how we do toy box's around here. We buy huge totes. I was not thrilled with the idea I had before because as you can see the orange container is falling apart. I have a hard time with the toys all being dumped into one container because I am afraid he won't play with everything, but I have had to let that go because, well, lets face it, he has a ton of cars. Most of that tote is full of stuffed animals and cars.

 

Now to go watch my Utah Utes football game! GO UTES!!!