Today everything has gone wrong.

It started this morning with getting a phone call about Carson's insurance not covering his therapy because for some reason they did not have the approval letter from the insurance company. We got that taken care of.

Then I got a phone call from the school letting me know that the teacher I was determined to have for Carson quit. I had to pick a new teacher. I picked one, but I was having serious anxiety about the decision. I didn't have any doubts with the one original teacher I had picked. In fact I have wanted her for Carson since Nadia had her 2 years ago. I knew that she would be a great fit for him. Then, I am at the doctor and get another phone call from the school saying that his kindergarten teacher would be moving up to first grade and we could pick her as well. I went with it without any hesitation. Carson loves her and she was amazing with him last year. When I told Carson, the smile on his face went from ear to ear.

Now I just got an email from the kids therapist again saying that her responsibilities have changed and we can either drive all of the way up to Pleasant Grove to see her or we can get a new therapist in Springville. I am thinking we will be going to PG because we just got Raven to open up and trust her.

 

We went to the doctor for med checks for Carson and I and for Raven's back. We were informed by her birth dad that he has dextroscoliosis and so we got her in to get it checked out. The bad news is that she does have scoliosis, but to what extent, we are not sure of yet. She will have xrays done tomorrow and hopefully we will find out more then. The doctor does not think it is too bad, but without the xrays, we just don't know.

 

Anyway that is pretty much all that has happened today.

Ugh why in the world would a doctor's office schedule appointments 1 to 3 months in advance and even squeeze us in then call the day of the appointment and say sorry but the dr is in training all day today and tomorrow so you can see someone else. Well can you get 3 of us in at the same time? So Yep tomorrow we will go see the nurse practitioner for Carsons med check my med check and Ravens back and anxiety. Oh I forgot to mention Carsons appointment has been scheduled for over 6 months. We make his six month med check after each appointment. Ugh so frustrating.

Don't get me wrong, I love our Doctor. In fact so does everyone else in the state of Utah it seems. He is so hard to get into unless you have an emergency. Very well respected and he has been with us through some really tough times and decisions in life. He has been the only doctor that our kids have seen on a regular basis. Yes, there are those times on the weekend when something goes wrong and we end up in the Insta Care, but for the most part, he is the only one who has seen them.

Carson just isn't doing well on his current medication right now, in fact it has been a very long month waiting for this appointment. Things started going down hill about 3 months ago and so we started therapy thinking that that would help, but it hasn't. Then there is Raven, we may have figured out what is causing her so much pain in her lower back. We were notified by her bio dad that he has dextroscoliosis, so we decided that we better get her checked out ASAP.

So I was just frustrated, that's all!

 

 

I love being in a real neighborhood. For the first time today we had a neighbor girl come over and ask if Raven could play. This has never happened before. We have had friends over and her go to friends houses but it is always planned in advance so I could take her. Not only was Raven able to play with a friend, but it was a domino affect, Nadia got to play with her friend and then Raven's friend went and got her brother to play with Carson.

When we first got the kids, we never thought in a million years we would be able to give this life to our kids. We thought we would be stuck in that other house for the rest of our lives. In fact, we still were not sure what we were going to do until mid February when we met with my cousin to discuss our options. Thankfully, we had worked really hard on our credit and were in a great place, in fact the best we have ever been. He hooked us up with the realtor that he works with and three weeks later, our house was on the market. To be honest, the house sold really fast. We were able to break even and not have to pay at the end. We bought the house at the wrong time. It was August of 2008 when the market was just about to fall out. BIG MISTAKE!!! Anyway, it made our house value not where we would have liked it to be. We actually sold it for around the same price we bought it for. Yes, we owed about $20,000 less, but then that extra money ended up going to pay for realtor fees and closing costs. Either way, we got really lucky that we were able to move forward. We have dreamed of this for 3 years. Being able to give our kids a real neighborhood and a yard to play in.

AND we LOVE living this new life.

 

I love this. Books are the best drug.

 

 

I'm not a huge fan of dogs cats or any other animal for that matter but there have only been 3 dogs that I have fallen for in my life. Our dog cinnamon that was our dog when I was younger my grandpa's dog spanky and this dog Saturn who is my brothers dog. (And believe me this dog only goes to me at our house. She is my baby. ) She is not fond of the kids much. She sleeps next to me (we are dog sitting)and There has only been one cat that I have ever loved and it was my grandma's cat named prissy.

 

 

We are getting closer to our shed being built. I am excited to be able to get the bikes, lawn mower and wheelbarrow out of the weather. Our bikes and lawn mower have never been out in the weather. We have always had a shed for them. Its not going to be perfect, but as we have the money, we will put sides on it, but for now, it is better than nothing.



Carson was mom and dad's date today to Home Depot.

We even got to see Papa. Carson has been really quiet and well behaved. I'm so proud of him. Good job buddy. Love you dude

 

 

This is our latest adventure in our backyard. We are building a shed to put our bikes, lawn mower and wheel barrow in so that they don't get ruined being out in the weather. We have always had a shed to put our bikes in, but since we moved here, our 1 car garage is full of Joe's tools and such. We can't even park in there. We need to get it cleaned up and organized as well.

Dang, buying a house that needs some work done to it, means long busy weekends. I am so thankful that we took yesterday to do fun things with the kids, but man, there are a ton of things to get done around here. We were used to being in our other house that we had spent time fixing up as well, but now we are back to square one. Yes, this house is bigger and nicer, but the yard is something else. Yes, we have things we want to do the house as well, but it is at least livable, but we need to get our basement done. I think that is going to be one of our priorities come winter time. Our goal is that we can redo all of the kids rooms and build Raven's room for there big Christmas gift this year, but we shall see.

Tonight while watching Battlebots,
Quynsie told Carson to leave her fricken phone alone and Carson responded by saying you don't say that in front of the kids.


My heart is full of emotions today. We met up with Quynsie's birth dad to give him back the pictures he let us barrow and her grandpa was there then Nadia got to talk to her aunt on the phone. I'm not sure who was more emotional me her aunt or Nadia. I'm thankful for being able to build healthy relationships with some of their birth family one step at a time. There are still those that we want nothing to do with right now but we are making progress towards openness and the vision I had from the beginning as to how I wanted or adoption to look like.

I appreciate that Quynsie was not rude and making her siblings feel left out. The other 3 just were happy to be at McDonalds and being able to play.

This morning before we left to go meet up with Michael, Nadia had a bit of a melt down. She was upset because she sees her sister's having contact with their birth dad and she doesn't. She gets and understands why we do not and really in her own words, she didn't really want to see her birth dad, she just wanted a connection with someone. She said that "He never came to any of the visits, so he doesn't care about me anyway and it makes me sad that he doesn't make an effort."

So, because there is only one person on that side of the family that I trust, I allowed her to call her aunt.

Carson doesn't really know or understand what is going on yet. He was so young when he came to us and so we are all he knows as his parents. Yes, he remembers a lot, but not living with his birth parents. The most he said to the aunt was hi! I am not going to force the kids to talk to their birth family. We are taking their lead at this point.

I am done swimming around their questions. They are old enough to know the truth and understand it. If they want to dig their own grave, they can do it themselves. If the birth family makes promises and fails to follow through, then that is on them not us.

 

Here is Quynsie with her birth dad Michael and her grandpa Tim.

Carson and his tongue. He is always sticking out.

 

After going grocery shopping, we took a drive up Payson canyon. Joe's mom is up there camping and so we went up to see them. The kids got to fish for a few minutes and spend time with 2 of their cousins.

We then came home, got showers and dinner.

Now bed time!!!



Today Quynsie and Raven had eye appointments. Raven's prescription has changed for the better. She is not as far sided as she was a year ago, but we have to keep an eye on it because she could become near sided. Her astigmatism is still there and that probably will never change.

Quynsie's prescription has not changed all that much. The only reason that they gave us a prescription is because her glasses are so messed up. They got even worse while at girls camp. They got stepped on. I had to fix them enough to get us through until her new ones come in.

 

 

This might get me in trouble with a few people but I'm so sick of people complaining about the gay marriage law. Guess what I SUPPORT gay marriage. My brother is gay and married to a guy my brother in law is also gay and I have a niece who is lesbian I also have friends and cousins that fall under this category and I'm ok with that. I love them all no matter what. We are taught to not be judgmental but yet I see a lot of judgment comments on my facebook page.

Guess what? You never know if your own child is going to be gay/lesbian. Would you love them any less? Would you write them off and not support them? Would you be against them marrying someone of the same sex? Someone that they love?

Everyone should have the same opportunities and be able to marry whoever they love no matter the sex.

Now that has been said, No, that lifestyle is not for me, but if one of my kids came to me and said, "Mom, I am interested in the same sex" I would not be against it. I would love them and support them no matter what.

 

We are watching my brothers dog for the next week and she has been mad all day. She wants nothing to do with the kids. She stays right by me. I'm sure having cancer plays into some of that. She is old, sick and tired. She isn't the same old dog she used to be.

I think the kids are realizing why we don't want pets. They are a lot of work. You have to find a dog sitter when you want to go on vacation, when you leave the house, the dog (this one anyway) gets mad and makes a mess of their food in the kitchen that they have to clean up. We can't be gone for hours at a time because we have to come home and let the dog out. There is dog poop to pick up. The dog behind us, is not fond of our dog. It's a lot of work.

 

Quynsie was thinking about boys when she was picking out her glasses. She wanted them to boom/pop so the boys would notice her. Ummmm......NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! There are more important things to worry about right now, like schooling.

 

 



RAVEN'S  1ST ORCHESTRA CONCERT

 

This picture was taken just before we left.

 

 

 

 

Trying to get Carson to understand that he is in control of his own behavior, actions and attitude has been a huge struggle, especially this past couple of weeks.

I know that therapy is making things worse right now because he has only been going for the past couple of weeks and they are making him work, but I also know that in the end therapy is the best option. We are just trying to weather the storm right now.

 



Love this comparison picture.

 

 

This morning Carson told me that it's all mine and jesus fault that he gets mean and mad. Mine because I made him mad by not letting him have excess food because he wastes it and Jesus fault because he made him this way. He also keeps telling us that Jesus made him with ADHD and other stuff mixed with it.

 

This afternoon, I hope he learned a very valuable lesson. He locked the downstairs door and then proceeded to tell his sisters that he didn't love them and so when I went to put him in time out, he told me that I am the meanest mom he has ever had and that he wishes I would just leave and that he doesn't want to go to a new home, he just wants to live with is dad. He tells me this on an almost daily basis, so today, I told the girls what I was going to do because I didn't want them to freak out with him, but I walked out the door without saying a word to Carson. I told Quynise to text me when he noticed I was gone. She did, and he started bawling. He thought I was never coming back.

I did come back and boy was he really sorry that he said what he said to me. He also tends to use the phrase, "I was just kidding" after saying hurtful mean things to everyone when he knows he is in trouble and I wanted him to know that you can't say mean things and then say just kidding. So I explained that just like a cut on your skin leaves a scar so does hurtful words leave a scar on your heart. They hurt just as bad as a cut does.

Normally, I would have never done something so drastic because these kids have been through enough trauma that I don't want to cause more trauma, but I am at a loss and not sure what else to do to get it through his head that words can hurt people too. He is in extensive therapy once a week and occupational therapy every other week.

Anyway, I think it made him think about things a little more. I was only gone for 15 minutes and I was just a block away sitting in a parking lot.

 

I found this amazing app that you can set a time limit that your kids are allowed on their phone. It also tracks their Web history app history search history. We have given Quynsie 3 hours a day that she can be on Netflix YouTube and other apps. We have also put a time frame where she is not allowed on them as well. For example during the school year she will not be able to even access the Internet or apps between the hours of 8:30-3:30. She can still call and text as much as she wants.

We feel that we are still being pretty generous. We figure movies on Netflix are around an hour and twenty minutes and then she loves to take pictures and edit them, but we don't want her doing it 12 hours a day like she did yesterday and more often than we would like so I found an app to limit it. I think it will work better than taking her phone away altogether. I can adjust time limits and what she is allowed right from my own phone. I can see pretty much everything she does on her phone right from my own phone.

AWESOME!!!!

 

Carson says that he is going to be the best daddy when he grows up.

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

We had a conversation with our kids tonight about how life is not always about fun and games. You have to work hard for the things you want in life. We can still have fun as a family while doing hard work. It is up to them on if they want to have fun with it or if they want to have a bad attitude.

I found this awesome article that fits what I have been trying to tell them for the past couple of months and so I read it to them.

 

Brooke Romney: Why we are taking the fun out of life

By Brooke Romney

Mom Explores Michigan

Published: Wednesday, June 24 2015 8:50 a.m. MDT

   

               

 

My children have a problem. They think the purpose of life is to have fun. It was especially evident when their prayers included "Help us to have a fun day tomorrow and a fun day the day after that." That little phrase hit me hard. Is our family so out of touch with others' needs and so removed from thanking the Lord that the only place we need God to intervene is to guarantee our fun? Where had we gone wrong?
After some serious self-reflection, I realized that we've been creating these fun-fed children. As they leave our car, we smile, wave and shout, "Have fun!" After they return home from somewhere (school, practice, play date, church), the question is usually "Did you have fun?" and if they didn't, there is often a decent amount of concern about what might be wrong and how we can remedy this un-fun problem.
Not only that, but we live in a culture full of cheap thrills and expensive entertainment that everyone feels like he or she must be a part of. You don't take an annual trip to Disneyland? Your poor kids! You aren't going to spend the day at a trampoline park? Bummer! Your kids don't have iPhones or iTouches yet? So sad! You aren't going away for the three-day weekend? What will you do at home?
Fun is a drug. Take a little and you want more. Take enough and it no longer satisfies. You need bigger, better, more expensive activities to fill you up. The simple moments are no longer satisfactory, and the big events don't seem all that big anymore. Fun is a junk food diet that leaves you giddy for a moment, then hollow and wanting more.
Kids learn it from somewhere: media, friends and, yes, parents too. Our culture worships leisure, entertainment and fun. As parents, we have forgotten how to have a good time with our kids without paying someone to fabricate it for us. We have forgotten that the most fulfilling and closest relationships are not the ones based on constant fun together but ones where we have worked, laughed, loved and struggled together. I don't want a cotton candy relationship with my kids. I want something substantial and real.
As I read biographies and listen to interviews about successful people who have changed the world, there seems to be a common thread in what they learned as a children and adolescents: hard work. It doesn't matter which country they come from, their socioeconomic status, their gender, their beauty or lack of it. They succeed by working hard at something, for something or to merely survive, and these lessons almost always started at home.
So this year we are turning over a new leaf in our home. We are still huge advocates of enjoying life, seeing the positive and taking it all in. We want to travel with our kids and show them the wonders of nature and different cultures. We love to play sports, take walks, visit the theater, attend concerts, hike, play games, swim, watch movies and just be together.
But this year we will work hard together too. We will create memories and strengthen relationships as we accomplish difficult things together. We will hold our boys accountable for their efforts in our family, in school, in sports, in music, in hobbies and in their church duties. We will no longer ask our kids if they had fun because, frankly, we don't care. They can choose to make every experience fun if they want to. It's up to them and absolutely possible. But we will no longer worry about creating fun for them or shielding them from hardships, unpleasantness or, heaven forbid, boredom. We want them to reap more than fun from this existence. We want them to be fulfilled. We want them to reach their potential. We want them to be excellent.
We will change our focus and ask one of these questions:

• "Did you learn something?"
• "Did you feel productive?"
• "Did you work hard?"
• "Did you try your best?"
• "Were you a good friend?"
• "Did you try something new?"
• "Did you push yourself?"
• "Did you make someone's day better?"
• "Did you add value?"
• "Did you create something?"
• "Did you grow?"
• "Did you discover something?"
• "Did you change the world today, even in a small way?"

When you can answer yes to any of those questions, that's when life gets really fun.

This post by Brooke Romney originally appeared on Mom Explores Michigan. It has been published here with the author's permission. Brooke Romney is a freelance writer and author of the blog Mom Explores Michigan.



(Mikel is Raven's birth dad's wife and mother of Raven's two sisters)

Mikel,

I just wanted to say thank you from one mother to another for allowing Travis, Lilly and Saria to be apart of Raven's life. Even though only through email and text messaging for now, it still means a lot, not only to Joe and I as her parents, but to Raven.

We have seen a big change in her behavior in the past couple of weeks since we have allowed her to communicate with Travis. I think all she has ever wanted was to know where she came from. She is 10 and at that age of trying to find herself and her identity. I knew the time would come soon, which is why I reached out back in December. I just was not expecting it to be this soon, but I am glad that it has happened and that we were prepared for it.

We have always told her that when she was ready, we would do what we could to reach out. We have always stayed in contact with Ruby and David, but wasn't sure how Travis or you would feel about us reaching out until I talked to Ruby about it.

Raven has expressed some concern about how you feel about her and we have told her what Travis has told us, that you have loved her from day 1 and that you have always known about her.

Getting to know her sister's has also been a big highlight for her. She has loved emailing back and forth with Lilly. She gets the biggest smile on her face when I tell her that she got an email.

Again, we just wanted to say thank you for allowing this contact to happen.

 

Joe and Brea

 

~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Today at lunch time, Raven asked if she could have a can of ravioli and I said yes. She then asked if she could heat it up in the can. I said NO!!! you need to put it in a bowl and heat it up in the microwave. Then she brings me the can opener and says that she doesn't know how to use it, which I find odd since she has opened cans before, but anyway, I called Carson in and asked him to show her how to use it. As he was leaving the kitchen he said: "I can't believe Raven doesn't know how to use a can opener."

The way he said it was like he was completely shocked/appalled that she couldn't use it.

Raven even thought it was funny. Thank goodness my kids know how to deal with Carson and his random comments.

 

What the? Joe text me this picture a few minutes ago. He is in the kitchen with the kids while I am in our room blogging. Weirdo's.

 

 

Yeah!!! Tristan has the kata down finally!!! Nadia is really lucky that she gets 2 nights of karate. Well at least until next week when Tristan can go back to coming on Wednesday nights.

 

I laughed and laughed and laughed when I saw this posted on facebook.

 

Nadia made this for Raven today.



I am not sure what Carson was doing in the shower last night, but I was sitting in the living room when I all of a sudden hear his say, "This is a pain in the gluteus."

 

Quynsie would die if she had to do this.

When I was 18, I moved away from home and for a couple of months the only phone I had was a pay phone a couple of blocks away.

 

 

I am loving getting pictures of the kids when they were younger and also of their birth-siblings. The top one is of Jaiden, Carson and Nadia when Carson and Nadia was around the same age as Jaiden is now.

 

 

 

Carson and Nadia when they were little. I am guessing Nadia was about 3/4 and Carson about 2.

 

 

 

 



HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!!!

 

 

 

Oh heaven help me, things got wild at grammy and papa's house today.

This 2nd picture was because Quynsie kept sitting on Raven and farting so Nadia came to her rescue and tried to sit on Quynsie and fart on her.

 

Raven and Quynsie with their cousin Jazmine at music in the park tonight with Grandma and Grandpa Davis.

 

This was the only picture I could get of Carson there.

Oh my gosh!!!! I cannot believe the similarities that these two have.

I love seeing where she gets her features from.

She got her eye color and hair color from her birth mom, but other than that she is all Travis.

 



SHE"S HOME!!!! MY BABY IS HOME!!! FROM GIRLS CAMP!!!

 

 

The shirt says "Embark upon your journey"

This was the theme for girls camp this year.

Quynsie had a great time. She said that it was much more fun than last year. This ward has a bunch of amazing girls that seem to be pretty close and accepting. The leaders here in our new ward are great as well.

She said that she did not get home sick until last night when she got our letter that we wrote to her. All of the parents had to write a letter to their daughter and they would give them to the girls at testimony night. I guess that is when she finally started missing home.

They kept the girls pretty busy it sounds like.

 

HERE IS THE LETTER THAT WE WROTE:

 

“I didn’t give you the gift of life; life gave me the gift of you…”

~Unknown~

Quynsie,

 

The day you came into our lives, we just knew that you were meant to be ours. Yes, you had to go through some really tough trials to get to our home, but we are so thankful that you made it eventually.

We had longed to be parents for so long and when you four came into our lives, it was one of the happiest days of our lives.

You are the light of our life. Your brother and sisters look up to you for acceptance and understanding. They look to you for advice.

No, our lives are not perfect and yes we have disagreements and arguments. You are going to be angry with us and we are going to be angry with you from time to time. That is just the way relationships work. You have to work hard to build them.

Quynsie, your dad and I are so proud of you and your accomplishments. You have come a long way in a short amount of time.

Remember that we are here for you and will do everything in our power to protect you and support you through life’s challenges. Please turn to us for guidance when needed. Turn to our Heavenly Father as well, He will help guide and protect you as well.

 

I want you to know that I have a testimony of Christ. Our Church is true, the scriptures are true. President Monson is a true Prophet of God. He leads us and guides us through prayer and revelation. I also have a testimony of eternal families and that if we continue to do what is right, we will all be reunited in Heaven.

 

Love

 

Mom and Dad

 

(I'll post more pictures from camp if one of the leaders posts any on their web page.)

 

Who says that a tree doesn't fit in a van?

There was a guy that was watching us load it into the van and he offered to take it in his truck for us, but by then, we already had it loaded and all was well.

 

Joe planting the tree. We can't wait until it starts to grow because we could really use the shade on the front porch and lawn. I think it will be awesome.

And here it is all planted.

Today is birth-father's day so we want to make sure we wish them a happy birth-father's day!
 

WARD PARTY

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Don't worry, Carson was not the only boy with his shirt off at the ward party. They got wet playing the duck game and so they decided to take their shirts off so they could dry in the sun. Not to mention Carson had on a hoodie.

We had a great time at our ward party. It is still a bit strange to go to a ward party in a new ward. Yes, we know some of the people from other places that we frequent, that so happens to be in our ward, but its still strange.

Our kids seems to have adjusted well here. They have made more friends much quicker here than they did in our old ward. I think it helps that we live in an actual neighborhood that has kids in it that don't live across the busy street that we used to live on.

There is a family that was in our old ward that their parents/grandparents live in our new ward. We actually got to see them today and that was great. I am sure we will be seeing them often.

Joe was in charge of the game bucket toss and I was in charge of the ring toss.

There was also potato sack races and dodge ball.

The food was amazing as well.

 

I made this blanket for our niece Kyrstin a few years ago when I made one for all of the nieces and nephews, but we never get to see her much and so while she was at my brother in laws house this weekend, they were finally able to give it to her. She lives with her mom and does not get to come to her dad's very often. I can't believe how big she is getting. She is now 9. The last time we saw her I think she was 5 maybe.

Gina Richardson

After a while, towels start to have a build up of softeners & laundry soap. This causes them to no longer absorb like they did when you first purchased them. Yo...u may even start noticing an odor that is not so pleasant after a while, too.

HOW TO REFRESH YOUR TOWELS
How can you refresh them once this happens? Simple solution to follow.......
Run them through a wash cycle with only hot water & 1 cup of white vinegar. Do not add soaps!
Then run them through again. This time using hot water and 1/2 cup baking soda. Again, do not use soaps!
This process will strip the residue that has built up and cause them to be fresh and practically new again. You will notice they absorb better as well.
Repeat this procedure as needed